


Feelings tend to leave marks

by thosewhowearplaid



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Demon Dean, M/M, Mark of Cain, Other, Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-11
Updated: 2015-12-04
Packaged: 2018-05-01 04:19:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5192081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thosewhowearplaid/pseuds/thosewhowearplaid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean's been struggling recently, with the mark. But it all starts to unfold once Sam finds them a case in Lawrence and ask's Castiel to join them, knowing what Dean had told him a week ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, thank you for reading! 
> 
> Dean doesn't exactly like spilling his guts out to his brother, but once it nearly gets him killed, he's sure he can't keep it inside any longer. 
> 
> I will try to update it every week, as I do have a lot stuff going on, but some chapters may be up earlier.

“Lawrence.” Sam muttered, under his breath.

“Sorry, did you say Lawrence?” Dean asked, trying his hardest not to raise his voice.

Sam nodded slowly, avoiding Dean’s eyes. Dean was always reminded of when Sam was a kid when he did that, slowly averting his eyes from his – just as he used to, when he went behind their fathers back and did something he was told not to.

“No, no way.” Dean said, finalising his answer as he stood up and walked away from the table, in the bunker. He was not going to go to Lawrence again, not for anything, and especially not for a stupid case.

“Dean, come on.” Sam whined, now catching Dean’s eyes. He knew that if he asked long enough, Dean would give in, it was just the type of brother he was.

“Sammy…” Dean muttered, hiding his face behind his hands as he rubbed his eyes.

“It’s a vampire’s nest. It’ll take 4 day’s tops.” Sam said, as he pointed to the newspaper on the table, next to his open laptop.

Dean dropped his hands and looked at his younger brother, was he really willing to go back to Lawrence because his brother wanted to solve a damn case? Apparently so. Dean sighed and nodded, “We get this done and then we get the hell out of there, okay?” He said, pointing his finger warningly towards his brother.

“Thank you.” Sam said with a smile, as he closed his laptop and stood up from the table.

As Sam started to walk away, Dean thought about that night, that night he was turned into a vampire. Those cravings were a lot worse than the cravings he was experiencing now with the mark. Well, maybe not, but with the mark he wasn't craving to _drink_ someone’s blood, rather than spill it. “Sammy?” He said, interrupting his own thoughts.

Sam stopped walking and looked back to Dean with big, curious eyes.

“Don’t let me get turned again, will you?” Dean said with a smirk.

Sam rolled his eyes with a sigh, and started to walk away again, “Jerk.” He muttered.

“Bitch.” Dean replied with a smile, before starting to walk to his own room.

 

As they neared Lawrence, Dean started to experience more second thoughts. He wasn't scared, no, of course not. He was just…worried. Worried about the nest? Well, no, because the mark took care of that fear. The mark took care of pretty much anything demon or monster related. As he thought about why he was so worried, the shouting in his head increased and became more aggressive. He ignored the shouting in the back of his mind and carried on driving.

Sam knew Dean was uncomfortable about coming back to Lawrence, but it was only for a few days. It wouldn't take long. They’d rid the vampires and then go back to the nice, safe bunker. He took a quick glance towards his older brother, and saw the worried look on his face as he drove. _Maybe this wasn't such a good idea_ , Sam thought. For starters, they _were_ driving to Lawrence – where Dean had to carry him out of their burning house as their mother was pinned to the roof, where their Dad decided to take away their own free will and turn them into hunters but also now because Dean had the mark, he was _very_ quick tempered and would attack anything that got in his way. Sam gulped subtly and realised it was a _very_ bad idea.

“You know, Dean, maybe we should go back? Leave this for another hunter.” Sam said quietly, looking out of his passenger window.

“What, why?” Dean replied quickly, looking at Sam and then back to the road.

“I don’t know. I mean, it’s just a vampire nest. It’s not something we haven’t dealt with before; someone else should do it.” He said, looking towards Dean now.

Dean took a long look at his brother, before deciding to pull up and park on the side of the road, in the middle of nowhere.

“Alright, shoot.” Dean said with a shrug.

“What?” Sam said, confused.

“Why don’t you wanna go?” Dean asked.

“It’s just something regular hunters can deal with…there’s no point in us going.” Sam shrugged, looking out of the window.

“ _Regular hunters_?” Dean mocked, with a smirk.

“I'm serious, Dean.” Sam said, looking back to his brother.

“Yeah, no, I can see that.” Dean replied, pulling a face that Sam knew it meant _tell me the truth, Sammy._

Sam’s eyes quickly flashed to Dean’s right arm, supposedly where the mark was hidden under Dean’s leather jacket. Dean followed Sam’s eyes and his also landed on his arm. He could feel the mark burning, as well as power ripping through his veins before he tore his eyes away.

“Because of this?” Dean said, gesturing to his arm.

“It’s just ‘cause I know you don’t have a lot of good memories here, and I don’t want you to get hurt or hurt someone…” he trailed off once he realised what he was saying.

“Hurt someone innocent?” Dean said mockingly, as he finished Sam’s sentence.

“No, Dean, I didn't – " He began, before getting interrupted.

“Of course you didn't.” Dean interrupted, as he ripped his eyes away from Sam and started the car again. The engine purred, and he quickly drove off, not turning back around to face his brother.

“Where are we going?” Sam asked worriedly.

“Lawrence.” Dean snapped back, tensing his jaw.

Sam sighed and sat back in his seat, if only he’d kept his damn mouth shut.

 

Once they arrived at their crappy, run-down motel, Dean threw his bag onto the bed closest to the door in habit as Sam dawdled in behind him and sat down on the bed next to Dean’s. They hadn't spoken to each other since the awkward, yet domestic conversation in the car. But Sam knew it was going to be okay, this had been happening a lot recently; they’d have an argument about something unnecessary and then the case would bring them back to normal and they’d forget all about it. That was how it normally was, even before the blasted mark. And then on one day, it would all explode back in their faces - but today, wasn't that day.

“I'm gonna get changed.” Sam murmured, as he walked into the bathroom with his bag.

Dean nodded and made a noise of approval. Sam sighed and closed the door, he dropped his bag on the bathroom floor and took out his suit.

When Sam was finished getting ready, he unlocked the bathroom door and expected Dean to quickly rush in as soon as he left, but instead he saw Dean sitting at the table near the window dressed in his suit, with a glass of whiskey in hand. “You ready?” He asked, once he saw Sam.

“Uh, yeah.” Sam replied, as he threw his bag onto his bed.

Dean nodded and stood up, as he tucked his gun into the back of his trousers.

Sam did the same and they both walked towards the front door of their room, “Hey, Dean,” Sam said quickly, stopping them both.

Dean looked at his brother, honestly, he knew what was coming. But he didn't want it, he didn't want an apology; because he knew Sam was right. He knew that one day he was going to put a bullet in an innocent man’s head. He knew that one day he was going to go too far, and he would never forgive himself for it – or the mark.

“I'm sorry, man. I shouldn't have said anything.” Said Sam sincerely.

“Don’t be. You were right.” Dean said, putting the most believable sincere look on his face as he could, but it’s hard when you’re mentally ripping yourself apart.

“No, I wasn't. I know you, Dean, you’d never hurt anyone who doesn't deserve it.” Sam said, finalising his point.

Dean bit down on his tongue and tensed his jaw. He wanted to argue, he wanted to tell his brother that he was wrong, that one day he would lose his morality. Instead, he bit harder, nodded at his brother and walked out of the room.

* * *

 

“I'm Agent Monroe, and this is Agent Moretti.”  Dean said, gesturing to himself and Sam as they shown their badges to the coroner.

The coroner looked at the badges and then back at the two men before him, he eventually nodded and asked what they needed.

“We need to take a look at the bodies that came in early this morning, y’know, blood loss and throat’s punctured.” Dean said, gesturing towards his own neck.

“Oh, you mean the vampire killings?” Said the coroner dully. The coroner was a man in his late 40’s, frown lines were imprinted on his forehead, just above his dull, bored-looking eyes. The man looked tired, tired of his job and apparently bored of the damn bodies.

Sam and Dean shared a quick panicked glance, before Dean said, “Vampire?”

“Well, it looks like it. But no one would believe me.” The man said with a shrug, as he led the men to the bodies.

“You think vampires are real?” Sam asked, with a fake smile, as they both followed.

“Obviously not.” He replied in a dull tone once again, as he uncovered the sheet of the first victim.

“Great. Thank you.” Dean said, as he neared the body.

“Yeah, well, all the bodies are the same. But give me a shout if you wanna see the rest.” The man said, with somewhat a smile before walking off, leaving the boys alone.

Dean widened his eyes and let out a breath at the man’s pure grumpiness.

“Must be real fun at parties,” Dean muttered to himself.

“Dean.” Sam warned.

Dean held his hands up as if he was surrendering as Sam rolled his eyes. Dean chuckled and looked down to the body. He put on the gloves that were left by the coroner and tilted the head towards him to get a better look at the marks. They both examined the punctured holes for a while, before finally agreeing their first guess was right.

“Hey. How many bodies were brought in?” Dean shouted over to the coroner, as he took off the gloves off.

“13, so far.” He replied.

Dean looked back over to Sam, with eyes wide. “13? Is that normal for a nest?” He whispered.

Sam looked equally shocked and shrugged.

“Right. That’s it for us, I think.” Dean said, as he and Sam walked towards the door. “Give us a call if any more decide to drop by.” He finished, handing his _card_ to the coroner.

The man nodded and let the boys out.

 

 

“Okay, so it says here that the bodies were found scattered around here,” Sam said, as he pointed to an area on the map on his laptop, “– and here.”

“Are there any abandoned factories, warehouses or anything near there?” Dean asked, as he looked at the map over Sam’s shoulder.

“Uh,” Sam began, as he started to move his mouse on the laptop, “yeah, 3.” He sighed. Sam looked up to his older brother with a guilty look.

"What?" Dean asked, knowingly. 

"Nothing." Sam said, looking back to his laptop. 

"Sam." Dean ordered. He knew it wouldn't take long for Sam to spit it out, he was terrible with secrets - well, sometimes anyway. "I was just thinking we should call Cas, let him help us with this one." Sam replied quietly.

"No, definitely not." Dean said panicked. 

"Why not?" Sam whined. 

"No, Sam, just no." Dean said, rubbing his face. 

Sam frowned and let out a breath he was holding in, he didn't want to argue. "Fine, shall we go then?" 

Dean walked back over to his chair and sat down. “Let’s get food first.”

Sam scoffed, before getting entranced by his laptop again.

“I miss home,” Dean said, referring to the bunker as he looked around their motel room.

Sam was too engrossed in his laptop to even listen to what Dean was saying, “Sure, whatever you want, Dean.”

Dean rolled his eyes and grabbed the whiskey bottle sitting on their table. Now, that definitely sparked up Sam’s attention. “Uh, what are you doing?” He asked, looking at his brother.

Dean confusedly looked at his brother as he held the bottle mid-air, “What?”

“I thought you were gonna lay off drinking?” Sam said, sitting back in his chair.

“When did I say that?” Dean asked, looking absolutely mortified.

“A few days ago. You said it would help you keep control.” Sam sighed.

Dean stared at his brother for a few moments before rolling his eyes and unscrewing the bottle. He poured himself a glass, and drank it, keeping his eyes on his brother the whole time.

Sam scoffed and shook his head, “You’re such a child.”

Dean shrugged and poured himself another glass.

“I do agree.” Said a strange voice coming from the other side of the room, causing Sam to jump up and Dean to choke.

“Jesus, Cas!” Dean shouted, once he saw who the voice belonged to.

“My apologies. Sam sent me a text, telling me where you were.” Cas replied, as he walked closer towards the boys.

Dean slowly turned his head from Cas, to Sam. “Oh, did he?” He said, shooting him a look.

Sam shot Dean an apologetic look and shrugged, “We need all the help we can get if we’re going against a nest.”

“A nest?” Asked Cas.

“Yeah, bloodsuckers.” Said Dean, as he threw the remaining whiskey he had in his glass, down his throat.

Cas nodded and looked straight past the boys and out of the window. “Sam said you needed to tell me something, Dean.”

Dean shot his younger brother another look and poured himself _another_ drink, “No? I don’t think so.”

Cas looked down towards Dean and tilted his head, squinting his eyes. Dean could feel his throat tighten and heat rise up to his cheeks as they stared at each other.

 

* * *

****  
  


_ 8 Days Before. _

_Dean sat down at the table with a huff. Another sleepless night._

_“Morning,” Sam said, as he came into the room with a cup of coffee._

_“Hey.” He replied grumpily._

_“Jesus, Dean. You look like crap.” Sam said, as he looked closely at Dean’s face, as he sat down opposite him._

_“Thanks, but you don’t exactly look like a princess either.” Dean replied with a mocking smile._

_Sam rolled his eyes at his brothers remark. “Have you even slept?” He asked, as he looked at every detail on Dean’s face._

_Dean had dark, heavy bags resting underneath his green, yet dull and bloodshot eyes. His face was pale and his usual pink, rosy lips were now bland and also pale. He did, in fact, look like hell._

_“Nope.” He said, as he reached over the table and stole Sam’s cup of coffee._

_“Why?” Sam asked concerned, ignoring the fact Dean stole his drink._

_Dean darted his eyes towards Sam, as if to ask if he was being serious._

_“Okay, just asking.” He replied defensively._

_Dean sighed and rubbed his face, “I'm sorry, I'm just really, really tired.”_

_Sam nodded understandingly._

_Dean made a promise to himself that he was not to talk about his feelings to Sam for at least another month. Especially considering the amount of ‘feelings crap’ they had spoken about recently. Just give it a month, he thought, then I can tell him._

_Sam knew the look on Dean’s face when there was a war conflicting inside himself, and this was definitely the look. “Okay, what is it?” He demanded._

_Dean was quickly dragged out of his own dark, twisted mind as he heard the deep voice of his brother._

_“What?” He asked, before taking a sip of the coffee._

_“What’s wrong?” Sam asked, knowing already what the answer was going to be._

_“Nothing.” Dean said, eyes turned into daggers._

_Sam’s eyes softened and he leant forward, “Dean?”_

_“Fine.” Dean said, as his facial expressions turned from hard and cold to soft and warm, “I think we need to paint the bunker pink, before I start PMSing again. Because I really won’t have the energy then, you know?”_

_Sam scoffed before Dean even finished and stood up, before walking out and leaving Dean alone._

_“Nice talk, see you next month!” Dean shouted after him._

_Sam was more than prepared to let Dean keep this one to himself, that was until it nearly got them killed._

_As they drove down from the bunker to the nearest bar, Dean was lost in his mind. The war still spiralling inside of him. Each time he nearly came to the conclusion, he was brought all the way back to the damn start. He was sick of it. The dark, twisted paths his mind had to offer him were starting to scare him. His mind started to scare him, Dean Winchester. And it was because of that, Dean was fully captivated in his mind as he was driving. Sam looked over to his brother and saw the same look on his face that he had seen earlier that morning, “Dean?” He asked, trying to get his attention._

_No answer._

_“Dean?” He asked, more panic in his voice as he looked to the road and then Dean._

_But then, as the truck came closer, Sam reached for the wheel. The truck let out a horrendous noise as Sam just made it in time to avoid hitting the truck._

_“Dammit, Dean!” He shouted, as he steered the car._

_The scared shouts of his brother, dragged him back to reality._

_“Sammy?” He asked worriedly, as he saw Sam’s hands on the steering wheel in front of him._

_“Pull over!” He shouted._

_Dean quickly obeyed and took back control of the car, parking it on the side of the road. Once the engine was cut, Sam jumped out of the car and slammed the door shut. “Hey!” Dean shouted at the slamming, as he also got out of the car, closing the door softly._

_“What the hell, Dean?” Sam shouted._

_“What?” Dean asked._

_“You just nearly got us killed!” He shouted, “By a truck!” Emphasising on the truck, as they didn't have a near-death experience with a demon, or a ghoul, no, they had a near-death experience with a truck, again._

_“What? No, I didn't!” Dean said confusedly, raising his voice._

_Sam’s eyes widened even more, “Yes, you did!”_

_Dean looked around in confusion, he felt extremely guilty but he felt even more worried. He couldn't remember leaving the bunker._

_“Dean, what was the last thing you remember?” Sam asked, more concerned than angry now._

_“I, uh, don’t know? Having a shower?” He replied quietly._

_“Dean, that was 2 hours ago!” Sam said, raising his voice._

_Dean’s eyes widened in shock and he turned around, rubbing his face. He couldn't let Sammy see him worried._

_“Dean, what’s going on?” Sam said softly, ignoring the deafening sounds of his rapid heartbeat._

_Dean didn't reply, he didn't know what to say. He didn't know how to put it into words._

_“Dean?” Sam asked, once again._

_Dean took a deep breath and swallowed down the lump in his throat, “I'm scared, Sammy.”_

_“Of what?” Sam asked, surprised he even got an answer._

_“I – I don’t know. I've got this thing inside me and it just won’t go away.” He replied, still facing the other way._

_“Dean, we’re trying to find a way to get rid of the mark, you know that-" Sam began softly, before being interrupted._

_“- No, it's not just the mark.” He said quickly._

_“Then what?” Sam asked, growing more concerned._

_Dean shook his head and took a deep breath, he had to get it out. It was eating him up inside. “I have feelings for Cas.” He spat out, as he turned around to face Sam._

_“Wait, what?” Sam shouted. That was definitely not what he was expecting. He was expecting some demon, or illness crap! Not being in love with a damn angel._

_Sam couldn't hear what else Dean was saying, he was too busy trying to get over the fact that his brother, Dean Winchester, was gay – and had feelings for an angel! Dean Winchester, the man who would sleep with any chick who had a nice rack, was gay. Gay. And in love with Castiel._

_Completely ignoring what Dean was saying, Sam spat out, “Wait, what?” again._

Present Day.

“You’re lying.” Said Cas, as he continuously stared at Dean, making him more and more uncomfortable.

“Nope. I don’t need to tell you anything.” He replied quickly, tearing his eyes away from Cas’ and looking down towards the floor.

“Sam?” Cas said, now looking towards Sam. It wasn't really fair on Cas for Dean not telling him the truth, as Cas was just finally starting to grasp humanity.

Sam looked between the two men who were now staring at him. He could stick by his brother, the brother he’s looked up to his whole life and lie to the angel who had saved their lives numerous times – and who was also trying his hardest to become more in touch with humanity. Or, tell Cas that Dean was in love with him and risk everyone's relationships with each other. Sam’s mind hadn't even finished thinking things through before he spat out, “Vampires. We need to kill the vampires.”

Cas confusedly looked at Sam, he didn't know what to think. He knew the brothers were lying to him, but he couldn't figure out why. “If I help you, can I know what it is you’re keeping from me?”

The brothers exchanged glances, “I, uh, don’t know, Cas. It’s not really up to me.” Sam said quietly.

Cas sighed, “I didn't want to have to do this – but I am capable of reading minds if I gather enough strength.”

“No, no. I’ll tell you after we kill all the vampires.” Dean lied, jumping out of his seat.

Cas looked Dean up and down for a moment, before finally nodding. “When are we leaving?” He asked.

Dean sat back down, he could feel his heart beating in every part of his body. It was beating so loud; he was surprised neither Sam or Castiel could hear it, “Not yet, man. I need to have a drink first.”

Castiel nodded and awkwardly walked over to the beds, and sat down on the closest one. And of course, it had to be Dean’s. For someone who wasn't 100% on emotions, he could definitely tell that Dean was scared, worried and was experiencing severe anxiety. He knew all that, he just couldn't figure out why. As Castiel sat there, on Dean’s bed, he watched Dean stare at Sam as if looks could kill. Sam looked guilty, but then also quite excited. It was at that moment, Castiel realised he was in love with humanity. He was in love with their emotions, their actions, their need for redemption, their bravery and last of all, he was in love with Dean Winchester. Castiel immediately shot up, and looked towards Dean for assurance, he needed to know if it was true. But of course it was, it was always about saving Dean Winchester. And he did, numerous times but now, now he had the Mark of Cain. That mark would be his undoing, and Castiel knew it. He knew that he would be the one that would have to watch Dean destroy the people he loved – destroy the world.

“Cas, you alright, man?” Dean asked for the third time, dragging Castiel back to reality.

“Sorry. Yes, I am perfectly alright.” He replied, avoiding Dean’s gaze.

“Cas, what’s wrong?” Sam asked, as he stood up and walked over to Castiel.

“Nothing.” He replied, still looking down to the floor.

“Then look at me,” Sam said.

Castiel raised his head and looked Sam straight in the eyes, and stayed like that until Dean cleared his throat, Sam knew why and subconsciously apologised.

“Why are you apologising?” Castiel asked.

Dean quickly finished his drink, which was now the whole bottle and stood up. “Are we gonna go then, or what?”

Sam and Cas both nodded, “Cas, are you gonna zap there or ride in the baby?” Dean asked.

“He’s gonna come with us,” Sam spat out, before Cas could even start to answer.

Dean and Cas both looked at Sam in confusion, but it didn't take Dean long for him to figure out why Sam wanted Cas to go in the car with them – he was trying his best to avoid the damn conversation where Dean bites his ears off for getting Cas involved in _everything_. Dean was angry, of course he was, but he was more scared than anything. Cas was an angel, who didn't experience feelings as humans did. He was scared that once Dean told him, Cas would leave and ignore his calls – ignore his prayers. He just wanted Cas. But then, Dean also knew that he could never have a relationship; especially after what happened to Lisa. Sam and Dean Winchester were the most hunted, hunters known in the supernatural universe and neither could risk being in love, they couldn't risk that being ripped away from them. But Castiel was an Angel of the Lord, he knew how to look after himself, he had been killed 4 times and made it back alive each time – even if him being resurrected was a punishment from God. And, even though Cas was in love with the whole humanity façade, Dean knew that Castiel could never fall in love with Dean, a human, a hunter, someone who was sent to hell. 

“I take it I’m coming in the car.” Cas said finally, not taking his eyes off Sam. He wanted to know why he was so eager for Castiel to come in the car.

Dean nodded and felt a singe of jealousy as Cas stared at his brother. He picked up his duffel bag and told Sam to do the same before quickly walking out of the motel room and towards the Impala. He threw his bag into the trunk and waited for Sam to do the same. Cas was last to leave the room, he made sure all the lights were turned off before leaving, act of impulse apparently.

As Dean and Sam waited for Cas to get into the car, Dean quickly turned to Sam and hit him on the back of the head, “If I didn't want to tell you, what made you think I want to tell him?”

“I don’t know. I just thought he deserved to know, I mean, feelings they’re…” Sam began but stopped once Cas got into the car.

“Feelings are what?” Cas asked, as he moved into the middle seat.

“Stupid.” Dean said.

Cas nodded and ignored the feeling in his chest that felt like he was being punched over and over again, “I see.”

“They’re not stupid, Cas. Some people are just too scared to admit they have them.” Sam said, turning around to face Cas.

Cas squinted his eyes at Sam and entered his own world inside his mind, as he thought about what Sam had said. Sam noticed this and turned back around, and saw Dean staring at him.

“What?” Sam asked.

“You’re a dick.” He replied, before turning around to face the front and started the car.

No one spoke on the way, Sam was too busy staring at the moon that had recently started to rise, Cas was still thinking about what Sam had meant and Dean was too busy driving and thinking about the angel that was in his back seat.

Eventually, Cas came to a conclusion and felt the need to speak up about it.

“Sam…” he began, grabbing both men’s attention.

“What’s up, Cas?” He replied, still facing the front.

“I want you to know I consider myself flattered, but unfortunately I am experiencing feelings for another,” he began, “You are considered to be an attractive man, but I do not feel that way towards you, I am – " He was abruptly stopped by Dean slamming the brakes.

Both men quickly turned around to face the angel, “What?” They both asked loudly in unison.

“I apologise if I have hurt- " He started again.

“-What? Cas, no! I'm not…I don’t…Dean, help!” Sam stuttered as he panicked.

“Nah, I’d rather just watch.” Dean said, trying not to laugh.

Cas was even more confused now, he truly had no idea when it came to emotions.

Sam took a deep breath, “Cas, you’re my friend. I only see you as a friend, I don’t like you in that way.”

Cas squinted his eyes and stared at Sam’s confused face, before finally allowing his face to relax. “It’s you.” He said, slowly turning to look at Dean.

Dean experienced many emotions in that moment – fear, panic, anxiety, lust, love and anger.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He said quickly, turning back to face the front and started the car again. He pushed on the accelerator, he was not going to have this conversation with him, not now. Not straight after he accused his brother of liking him and then saying… _Wait, he said he was experiencing feelings for another? Son of a bitch_ , Dean thought.

He quickly slammed down on the brakes again, gaining groans from both Sam and Cas. “Dean, what the hell?” Sam whined, as he rubbed the back of his neck in pain.

Dean opened his door and quickly jumped out, he needed to get out of there before he ended up killing someone.

“Dean?” Sam asked, also getting out of the car.

“Get back in the car, Sam!” Dean growled, as he turned back around to Sam. Sam looked to his brother in shock before slowly getting back in the car.

There was nothing around but fields, nothing for him to kill. So, instead, Dean walked to the fence that separated the road from the fields. He looked at the barbed wire covered fence and decided to do what he did best, kick the living shit out of it. He punched and pulled at the fence, and once he destroyed it, he went onto another piece of fence. He shouted and growled, he winced in pain but still carried on.

Once Dean realised he had torn his leather jacket, and saw that his hands were spraying blood everywhere, he decided that maybe he should go back to the car. He ripped his leather jacket off, leaving him with only his red shirt undone over his grey t-shirt. He kicked the fence one more time and turned on his heel, heading back to the car. He used his jacket to wipe the dripping blood off his hands before getting to the car. Sam and Cas were still in the car, and they were oozing fear and worry. Dean was about to open his door, before changing his mind and going to the trunk instead, he opened the trunk and threw his now, blood covered and torn jacket in. He walked back around to his door and let out a deep breath before opening the door and getting in. No one said anything, but Dean knew they were both staring at him, at his blood-soaked hands. They were still bleeding, but Dean couldn't feel the pain, that was until he wrapped them around the steering wheel.

“Ah, fuck!” He winced, and tore his hands off the wheel. And without thinking, he punched the steering wheel, but once he did that, he froze and his breathing hitched.

Cas was ready to heal him and Sam was ready to calm him down before he did anything, but instead of Dean doing something predictable, he unclenched his fists and stroked the steering wheel, “I am so sorry, baby. I didn't mean it.” He said softly, “Uh, look at that. I've got blood all over you, I’ll get it off, don’t worry.” Dean reached into his pockets and pulled out a tissue and started wiping the blood off his car. Sam and Cas were extremely worried and even a bit scared, but still, they said nothing. Still, they let him tear the fence apart. Still, they let him fuck his hands up. Still, they let him clean up his baby instead of himself. And still, they loved him.

After he wiped the blood off the wheel, he dabbed the still dripping blood off his hands and started the engine. He hadn't forgotten about the vampires; they were the only reason he was still driving. They were the only reason he was not still tearing that fence apart. He was going to rip all of their heads off, with his teeth if he had to, but he knew for sure that he was definitely going to do it alone.

They drove in silence, neither Sam or Cas wanted to say anything – honestly, they were too scared. Obviously, Cas could just zap him home and lock him up until he was back to normal, and he was much stronger, but Cas just wanted Dean to feel normal, to not feel betrayed.

Dean was the first to break the silence, “Have you narrowed it down?” He asked Sam.

“Uh, narrowed what down?” Sam asked nervously.

“The vampires, Sammy. Where are they?” He replied, sounding as if nothing happened.

“Oh, I figured they’d be in the second one.”

“Okay, great. We’ll be there in 15 minutes.” Dean said mechanically.

Sam didn't dare reply, so he simply nodded.

 

However, 5 minutes later they were nearing the first abandoned warehouse and Dean slowly stopped the car. “Dean, this isn't the one.” Sam said quietly. 

Dean slowly got out of the car, Sam was about to follow him but Dean gestured with his hand to stay in the car, Cas too. Dean wrapped his hand around the machete which hid under his shirt, he listened to the silence and looked into the darkness. Sam and Cas watched with great tension. Dean turned around to face the front window and Sam shrugged at him. But, Sam and Cas then saw Dean’s straight lips, form into a smirk and for a moment, his eyes looked black. Dean quickly spun around and knocked the head off a vampire’s shoulders. The men left in the car then quickly jumped out of the car to help, but before they got to Dean there were already 4 headless bodies surrounding him.

“Dean, what the hell?” Sam said so quietly, it was barely audible.

Cas said nothing, he only looked at the bodies then Dean and then the bodies again.

“Back in the car, now.” Dean ordered.

“No, the vampires are inside.” Sam said, as he started to walk past Dean, to get to the trunk of the car.

Dean put a hand on Sam’s chest to stop him, “Sam, get in the car.”

“What?” Sam asked, looking at his older brother’s face.

“Get in the car. Now.” Dean said, more sternly this time.

Sam looked at his brother in disbelief, “Dean, we can’t leave them in there.”

“He’s not.” Cas said from the background.

“What?” Sam asked, turning back around to face Castiel.

“He wants to do it himself.” Cas said, not taking his eyes off Dean.

“You want to take on a nest of vampires, by yourself?” Sam asked Dean.

“Sammy, get in the car.” He ordered.

Sam laughed humourlessly, “You’re joking, right?”

“Now.” He growled.

Dean squared up and Sam could see Dean’s green eyes, slowly start to show black flecks.

“Sam, come on.” Cas said calmly, walking up to Sam, “Let’s go back to the car.”

“What? No. Dean, you’re not going in there by yourself.” Sam said, looking back and forth between Dean and Castiel.

Cas put a hand on Sam’s shoulder, forcing all of Sam’s attention onto him, “Sam.”

Sam stared at his friend, but then he was forced back to Dean as he could feel him getting angrier. He turned around to Dean and saw he was staring at Cas’ hand on his shoulder.

“This is what it’s about?” He asked angrily, gesturing to Cas’ hand.

Dean looked up to Sam’s eyes.

“Dean, this isn't you. You wouldn't get jealous over this!” Sam raised his voice.

Dean gasped in pain and grabbed his right arm. Sam and Cas jumped up and went to help, but quickly decided against it once they saw what it was. Dean’s veins were glowing red, and the Mark of Cain was the obvious cause of it.

“Sam, get in the car now!” Dean shouted, as he fell to his knees in pain.

Sam didn't know what to do, he wanted to help his brother, but before he could go to help, Cas pulled him to the car. Once Sam was in the car, Cas walked back over to Dean who was still on his knees and groaning in pain. Cas knelt down in front of Dean and put his hand on Dean’s shoulder.

“Cas, don’t.” Dean said quietly as he looked to Cas.

“Dean, let me help.” He replied softly.

“Please, don’t. Get in the car, lock the doors and look after Sammy.”

“Dean,”

“Please, Cas. I won’t be able to forgive myself if I hurt you or Sam.”

“Dean, I'm not leaving you.”

Dean looked at Cas and smiled a smile he only shares with Cas.

“The person I admitted to having feelings for is you, Dean.” He said, looking down to the floor.

Dean stopped groaning, he stopped wincing, he even stopped breathing. He didn't know what to do. He was so happy, but still so terrified. He wanted to hug him, kiss him even, but he couldn't move. So instead he used his left hand to slowly lift up Cas’ chin, and softly said, “Cas, I love you.”

But before Cas could reply, Dean dropped his hand and groaned louder than ever. He curled into a ball and shouted for Cas to get in the car. Cas just froze, he couldn't move.

Dean took all his remaining strength to look up at Cas one more time and say, “Cas, if you love me, you’d get in that car and look after my damn brother.”

Cas nodded rapidly and quickly ran to the car and got into the driver’s seat. He looked over to Sam and saw how scared he really was. Sam’s eyes were fixed on Dean, and soon enough so were Cas’. They watched him scream, shout, beg for help, cry and swear thousands of times before it calmed down.

Dean stopped all the noises and let his head fall to the floor as if he was praying, but this was the complete opposite of praying. He stayed still for a few minutes, until he gained all his strength back. Eventually, he slowly stood up and once he was up straight, he stretched his back.  He turned around to face the abandoned warehouse and looked into the windows, “I can see you, you know? What’s wrong, are you all scared?” He shouted mockingly to the vampires.

 “Are they scared of him?” Sam asked in a whispering tone to Cas.

Cas couldn't answer, he was too afraid.

“Come on!” Dean shouted, “You’re supposed to be bloodsucking monsters! You’re supposed to be the predators!”

Dean started to laugh, but quickly shut up when 5 vampires slowly came out of the building. “Just 5? I was expecting a bit of a competition at least.” He laughed again.

The 5 vampires stood at the door, staring at Dean. Dean sighed and dropped his machete, “Better?”

“What the hell is he doing?” Sam whispered.

“Shut up, Sammy.” Dean shouted.

Cas quickly looked at Sam, “How did he hear that?” Sam asked.

Castiel shrugged, but they quickly went back to watching Dean.

“So, you ready?” Dean asked the vampires.

The vampires exchanged glances, before finally charging towards Dean. They all went to attack his neck first, giving him an advantage as he ducked and picked up the dropped machete. He stood back up and in a matter of seconds, 3 of the vampires were headless. The 2 remaining vampires circled Dean, growling and thirsty for blood. The first vampire charged, but Dean grabbed him by the throat mid-air and held him up, gripping his hand tighter around his throat. The vampire was screaming, begging to be let go as he gripped tighter, and eventually the vampire fell to the ground, whilst Dean still held the vampires head. He threw the head at the remaining vampire, who grew very angry and unfortunately got a machete thrown at them, stabbing her in the neck. Dean ran up to the vampire and grabbed the machete out, ripping the neck open and then punched the head right off.

“Come on, man!” Dean shouted up at the building, “If you all don’t come down to me, I’ll just go up to all of you!”

There was no noise, no movement, no anything. So, like Dean said, he went inside to them.

“Cas, what’s happened?” Sam asked, once he was able to get his voice back.

“It’s the mark. It has changed him into something he’s not.” He replied quietly, as he stared at the building.

Sam was about to reply, but was interrupted from the deafening screams of women and men coming from the building. Sam was about to get out of the car, but Cas quickly stopped him, “Dean, the real Dean, asked me to keep you in the car. Don’t let me break that promise.”

Sam stared at Castiel’s distraught face, he was right. He couldn't let him break the promise. So instead, he sat back and locked the doors.

Eventually, the screams came to a halt. And a couple of minutes later, Dean came out of the building, covered in even more blood. He froze at the doorway when he saw Sam and Cas staring at him from the car. Sam’s breathing hitched, and Cas silently prayed. Dean slowly walked towards the car, once he reached the foot of the car, he went round to Sam’s window. He bent down and that’s when they saw them – the blackest of black eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, to everyone who has been reading! I decided to upload a new chapter quite quickly, as I had more time than I expected. Enjoy.

“Hiya, Sammy.” Said Dean with a smile.

Sam couldn't talk, he couldn't think about nothing else other than his brother’s black eyes.

“What’s wrong? Got nothing to say to your big brother?” He asked, as he blinked away the blackness of his eyes.

“You’re not my brother.” Sam spat out.

“What makes you say that? It’s my good looks, isn't it? I always knew there was something different about us.” He said with a laugh.

Sam clenched his jaw and looked away from the window.

“You ignoring me now, Sammy?” Dean asked.

Sam didn't reply. Dean let out a deep breath and walked over to Castiel’s window instead. He knocked on the window twice, before bending down to look through the window.

“Cas.” Said Dean.

“Dean.” Cas replied.

“You wanna let me in?” He asked, smiling.

“I would, but you asked me to keep the doors locked.” Castiel replied, keeping a blank face.

“Ah, right. Well, screw it. Let me in, Cas.”

“Sorry.”

“Castiel, let me in.”

“No.”

Dean stood up properly and sighed, before kicking the front wheel of the car.

“Hey!” Sam shouted.

“What?” Dean asked, surprised.

“Don’t kick her!” He shouted back.

“It’s just a car, Sammy.” Dean said with a shrug.

Sam looked at Dean in disbelief and disappointment, “It’s not just a car, Dean.”

Dean rolled his eyes and went back to Castiel’s window, “You know, Cas, I really did love you.”

Cas’ breath hitched and he had to swallow the lump forming in his throat, “I really loved you too, Dean.”

There was no reply, Dean was just staring into Cas’ eyes with a wicked smile, before he groaned in pain. He furiously wiped his eyes with his hands before looking back to Cas. Dean’s eyes flashed black, but something was happening. His eyes then started to flick between the darkness they feared, and the green they missed. “What’s happening?” He fearfully asked Cas.

“I – I don’t know,” Cas replied truthfully, staring into Dean’s eyes.

Sam gasped, “Cas say it again!”

“Say what again?” He asked, not taking his eyes off Dean’s.

“Tell him you love him.” Replied Sam.

Cas nodded and quickly sucked in a breath, he unlocked the door and got out of the car. Dean stood back in fear and pain, but Cas walked towards him and softly grabbed his face.

“Dean? This isn't you, it’s the mark. I love you, Dean. I always have and always will. That’s why I raised you from hell, because it’s always been about you, Dean. It has always been about saving and loving you, Dean Winchester.” Cas said truthfully, not taking this eyes off Dean’s.

Dean looked at Cas’ face and saw he wasn't lying; he really was in love with Dean. Now, if it was the _old_ Dean, he would have been full of glee, full of happiness and lust, but now he was full of anger and pain. But before Dean could even reply and voice his opinion, he was washed over with a pain so intense he thought he was going to die. He took a step away from Cas and held his head in his hands. After the battle inside him calmed down, Dean let go of his head and looked up to Cas, who looked extremely worried. But once Dean’s eyes were on Cas’, the worry fell from his face. His eyes were the beautiful green they once were.

“Cas?” Dean asked worriedly, looking around.

Cas let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, and took a step towards Dean.

“What’s going on?” Dean asked, getting annoyed at the silence.

Instead of replying, Cas’ lips formed a tight, straight line and his eyes darted towards Dean’s arm – where the mark was. Dean followed his eyesight and stared in disbelief, before letting his eyes fall on the 9 decapitated bodies around them. “I did this.” Dean said under his breath, making it sound almost like a question.

Cas nodded and searched Dean’s face. He didn't know what for, he just knew he had to. “Are you okay?” Dean asked, looking back up to Castiel.

“We’re fine.” Cas said with another nod.

Dean’s eyes widened with realisation, he quickly ran past Cas and up to the car. “Sammy!” He shouted, as he neared the car.

Sam quickly unlocked his door and jumped out of the car, slamming the door behind him. Dean met him halfway, and quickly pulled him down into a hug. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to get a hold of himself again before letting go of his younger brother. “You okay, Sammy?” He asked quickly, searching Sam for any sign of damage.

“Yeah, I'm fine. Are you?” Sam asked, also searching Dean.

Cas then quickly walked up to them both, stopping their conversation, “We need to leave.” Cas gestured towards the abandoned building, and the brothers saw more vampires emerging from the door. Vampires that must of kept themselves hidden from Dean. “They know Dean’s not…” He trailed off, not exactly knowing how to finish.

“Yeah, okay.” Sam said, quickly walking back to his side of the car.

Cas and Sam got into the car, and waited for Dean. They both looked at each other before looking out the windows to Dean, who was now standing at his door, hand on handle. However, he wasn't looking at the car, he was looking at the vampires as they filled up the exit of the building. The men in the car heard a subtle growl coming from the back of Dean’s throat, before Sam reached over and tapped Dean’s window. Dean’s head quickly snapped towards Sam, before his expression softened and got into the car. He ignited the engine and quickly reversed before spinning the car around and drove back the way they came.

Once Sam noticed they had passed the motel he asked, “Where are we going?”

“Home.” Dean replied bluntly.

Sam nodded and subtly looked over to Cas, who was in the seat behind Dean, looking down to his hands. Sam knew that Cas felt awkward, it wouldn't take a genius to find out. But he also knew Cas was scared, Cas _had_ just told Dean he loved him – and that would scare even a normal person. He wanted to ask if he was okay, but he knew asking in front of Dean wasn't the best idea. So, he dug in his jeans pocket and pulled out his phone and typed Cas a message.

Cas was lost in his own head when he felt his phone vibrate in his coat pocket. He sighed and pulled it out, looking confused at Sam once he saw it was from him.

_You okay, Cas?_

Cas looked back over to Sam and saw he was staring straight ahead at the dark, empty road that was slightly illuminated from the headlights of the purring car.

_Yes, are you?_ He typed back.

_I know you’re not, Cas. What’s wrong?_

_If you knew I wasn't okay, then why did you ask?_

_It’s what we do. So, spill._

_I've_ _never really experienced feelings – let alone, express them._

_Don’t worry, Cas. He said he loves you too, right?_

_Well, yes._

_Once we get back to the bunker, I’ll leave you two to talk about it all._

_Do you think he’ll want to talk about it? It is Dean we’re talking about._

_Probably not, but he usually tends to do the right thing when it’s necessary._

_Sam?_

_Yeah?_

_I'm_ _an angel._

_Yeah, I figured that out for myself thanks?_

_No, I mean, I'm an angel, I shouldn't feel. I shouldn't be in love._

_You’re a special angel._

Cas smiled and looked up from his phone to see Sam looking at him, with an equally wide smile. They looked at each other for a while until Dean interrupted, “You two best not be bitching about me.” He said, his accent dripping through.

They quickly averted their eyes and Sam turned around in his seat, now facing Dean, “We’re not.”

“Alright, so show me your phone.” Dean said, quickly glancing at Sam and then the road again.

“I'm not giving you my phone.” Sam said defensively, secretly trying to hide his phone.

“Sam,” Dean said, stretching his arm trying to get the phone.

Sam smacked the outstretched hand away and blocked it from coming again, but Dean carried on. He pinched and smacked hands away as he drove, trying desperately to get the phone. “Sam, just show me the damn phone!”

Sam once again smacked the hands away before finally shouting, “Fine!”

Dean smiled in victory and put both hands back on the steering wheel as he watched Sam pull his phone out of his waistband, Dean groaned and squinted his eyes. Sam sighed and passed him the phone, before Cas quickly snatched it out of their grasp.

“Cas!” Dean shouted, looking quickly back to Cas.

Sam smirked and looked straight ahead, leaving the argument to Dean and Cas now instead.

“You cannot read this,” Cas replied bluntly.

“Cas, I swear...give me the damn phone!” Dean shouted, trying his hardest to concentrate on the road in front of him.

“No.” Cas said, just above a whisper.

“Why not?” Dean asked, noticing Cas’ drop of tone.

“Because you are clearly not ready for the conversation that will come after.” Cas said sadly.

Dean sighed and saw a sign that read _Food Stops – 3 miles,_ “We’ll stop for food, okay?” He said, as he looked back at Cas and gave him a reassuring smile, suggesting he knew what conversation Cas was talking about.

* * *

 

Once they reached the diner, Dean crept into the restroom before being looked at and washed all the blood off his face and hands, as he ignored looking into his own eyes. He couldn't stand to look at his reflection, he was too afraid. He was too afraid he would lose control again, hurt someone who didn't deserve it. The battle in his mind was intensifying as he edged closer towards the dark paths of isolation and pain. He could feel the twisted vines closing in on him, trapping him, holding him hostage as he exited the world and never came back – leaving him alone.

Sam and Cas were exchanging low whispers when Dean came into the empty diner, he rolled his eyes and sat next to Sam, and opposite Cas. They all shared awkward glances and small talk before a waitress came and stood next to Dean.

“What can I get y’all?” Asked the woman, in a southern accent.

Dean looked up to who the accent belonged to and saw the very, pretty woman. She was quite a busty woman, as the top 3 buttons were unable to be closed. Her brown, long hair highlighted her green eyes and visible cheek bones, as well as complimenting her red lipstick. Dean’s eyes fell to her name tag and smirked, _Ellen._

Sam was the first to order, and then Dean. Ellen was waiting for Cas’ order but he just ordered a coffee instead, just so he looked a little bit normal. When Ellen came back with their food, she smiled and winked at Dean before passing a napkin with her number on to him. Dean looked down to the number, as well as the 2 other men.

“Honestly, sweetheart-“ He began before being interrupted.

“- I get off in an hour, don’t be too long.” She said with a wink, before turning on her heel and walking off, leaving Dean speechless.

Sam quickly looked towards Cas and saw the pain and confusion written all over his face. He wanted to help him, tell him everything would work out but he couldn't catch Cas’ eyes, he was too busy staring at the napkin. Dean let out a deep breath and picked up his burger before freezing, he stared at the napkin and dropped his burger back down onto the plate. “I’ll be right back.” He said bluntly before quickly standing up and walking over to the counter, napkin in hand.

“Dean?” Sam asked, but Dean ignored him.

Sam looked back over to Cas and smiled sympathetically, but Cas just looked at him with wide, innocent eyes. “Is he…?” He asked, trailing off.

“I don’t know,” he replied quietly before both men looked back over to Dean who was leaning on the counter.

 

“Ready so soon?” Ellen asked with a smirk, as she walked behind the counter and in front of Dean.

“Actually, I wanted to give you this back,” he said, as he slid the napkin back over to the woman.

The woman looked at the napkin and frowned, “Really? I don’t see no ring on that pretty finger of yours that means you can’t.”

Dean chuckled and leant his head on his folded arms on the counter for a few seconds, “It’s complicated.” He said, as he lifted his head.

“Yeah? And where’s that pretty lady of yours then? Why would you be out here, at this time of night, without her?” She said with a scowl.

“Listen, lady, I'm not interested.” He said, dropping his fake smile and tapped the counter before walking back to the table.

Sam and Cas were too out of range to hear what Dean had said, but they could definitely tell it was good news as they stared at the angry woman’s face, as she held the napkin.

“What did you say?” Sam asked with a smile, as his brother sat back down next to him.

“That I wasn't interested,” he replied with a shrug, as he caught Cas’ eyes.

Cas smiled weakly at the man as they stared at each other hard and long, as Sam finally started on his salad. But Cas’ eyes were quickly torn from Dean’s and they shot to something behind him, but Dean already knew what that was. “She’s coming over, isn't she?” He said quietly with a sigh.

Cas nodded subtly and Dean turned around in his seat to face the upcoming woman. “I told you, I'm not…” He trailed off, as the woman stormed right past him and walked up to Cas, jumping into his lap.

Sam choked on his salad and stared wide eyed at the woman in Cas’ lap, as Dean gasped in anger and shock.

“Um,” Cas said awkwardly, not knowing what to do.

“What are you doing?” Dean asked angrily, finally getting his voice back.

“You’re taken, and this one looks too innocent to be.” She replied, not taking her eyes off Cas’.

Cas’ eyes flickered to Dean’s as she mentioned the word ‘taken’, but was soon quickly torn back to the woman as she started to move around in his lap, causing _discomfort_. Dean could feel the anger intensify as she wriggled around, causing him to jump up from his seat and was quickly standing next to the obviously aroused woman. “Get off him.”

Ellen rolled her eyes and looked up to Dean, she could see the anger burning in his eyes. “Relax, honey. We’re just having fun.”

“Now.” Dean growled.

The woman squinted her eyes at Dean and looked back over to Cas, before Dean again. It wasn't until she looked between the men a few more times that the realisation hit her. Her eyes widened in horror, before she turned to look at Sam, who just shrugged at her as he took a sip of his drink. “Oh, Jesus. _He’s_ the complication?” She asked loudly, looking back to Dean as she gestured to Cas.

No one replied, so Ellen took that as her answer as she scrambled off Cas’ lap, and hit the table with her back. She quickly backed away and apologised over and over as she awkwardly ran into the kitchen of the diner.

Dean let out a breath of anger before returning to his seat, and picked up his burger, as if nothing had happened. Castiel’s cheeks were burning a crimson red, as he awkwardly sat in his chair, secretly covering his lap with his hands. As Dean took a bite of his burger, he saw Cas’ eyes dart around the room awkwardly before landing onto Dean’s torso, or maybe even lower – but who could tell, right?

Dean quickly swallowed the food and started to cough and splutter before taking a sip of his drink, “And now he has a boner, great!” Dean said loudly, after he finished his drink.

Sam looked over to Cas with his mouth slightly ajar in shock and disbelief, “Really?”

Cas stared at the two men, saying nothing. Dean quickly finished his burger before standing up, “Come on.”

Sam and Cas both equally shared shocked looks at Dean as he impatiently stood there, waiting.

“What, really? Here?” Sam asked, horrified as he looked between Cas and Dean.

Dean looked at his brother as he normally would, before he realised what he was implying. “What, no! Jesus, Sammy. I meant we should go before Cas goes looking for that son of a bitch waitress.”

“Oh, _oh_!” Sam replied, before finishing his drink and standing up next to Dean.

Cas looked awkwardly between the men, before clearing his throat and looking back down to his lap, “I don’t think I can.”

“Damn it, Cas.” Dean said with an exasperated sigh, “Just think of earlier? Me going bat-crazy.”

Cas looked to Dean, more flushed and embarrassed, “That won’t work.”

Dean’s eyes widened in realisation, and he looked slightly excited, “Oh my god, really?” He asked, intrigued.

“Guys, not now.” Sam said sternly.

Dean cleared his throat and walked over to Cas, telling him to take his coat off. Cas did as he was told and allowed Dean to hold it in front of him they walked out of the diner and to the car. Of course Dean felt sorry for the guy, he had just been violated by some bitch who thought he looked _innocent_ enough, but then the outcome kind of excited him. He didn't know why, well maybe being in love with him was the reason, but he couldn't let himself believe that, not at the moment anyway, not in front of his younger brother.

Once they were in the car, Sam started to laugh and by laugh I mean, holding his sides because the laughter was hurting his ribs so much. He didn't want to laugh, he felt bad for Cas, but it was just the looks and expressions on Cas’ and Dean’s faces. “I'm sorry,” he said in between laughs, to Cas.

Cas smiled at Sam and shook his head, “It’s fine.” Of course, Cas didn't find it at all amusing but he was glad it had caused a smile on both the brothers lips, especially after the terribly long night.

“Cas, are you gonna crash with us tonight or go to some important angel meeting?” Dean asked, as he started the engine.

Cas was about to reply, before the words were stolen right out of his mouth, “Yeah, he’s staying with us tonight.” Said Sam, as he looked back at Cas with a smile.

“Oh yeah, the bitchy messages.” Dean said with a straight face.

Sam laughed mockingly at Dean before muttering, “Yeah, at least I didn't get jealous when Cas got a boner over a woman.”

“Hey!” Dean shouted, glaring at his younger brother.

“Alright, sorry!” Sam said, raising his eyebrows.

Dean nodded victoriously and pushed his foot down on the accelerator before muttering under his breath, “I wasn't jealous.”

Sam scoffed and looked out his window as they drove.

“I wasn't!” Dean exclaimed desperately.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Dean.” Sam smiled.

Dean looked over to his younger brother and rolled his eyes, not bothering to reply.

* * *

 

“Home sweet home.” Dean said with a smile, as he threw his bag onto the _war table_ in the bunker.

Sam smiled and Cas just stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to do. He wasn't especially looking forward to the conversation that may take place. He didn't know if Dean was too tired and just wanted to sleep. Sam turned to look at Cas and saw the concentration written across his face.

“I'm gonna call it a night. Don’t wake me up.” Sam said, pointing a finger towards his brother.

“You got it,” he replied, his accent dripping through.

Sam smiled and caught Dean’s gaze, he gestured subtly towards the angel who was now staring at his feet. Dean rolled his eyes and gave Sam a look, telling him to _go._ Sam smiled and walked out of the room, and towards his bedroom.

“You want a beer?” Dean asked Cas, once he knew Sam was gone for sure.

“No, thank you.” Cas replied, finally looking up from the floor.

Dean nodded and awkwardly stood there, not knowing what to say. He didn't like it being so awkward, he wasn't used to it, especially not with Cas.

“Well, I'm not drunk enough for this.” Dean muttered to himself, as he walked over to his bag and pulled out a bottle of scotch.

Dean chuckled happily as he examined the bottle, before pouring himself a reasonable sized glass and taking a seat. Cas saw Dean take a seat and did the same.

“I knew me going bat-crazy was going to be a turn on for someone one day.” Dean said, looking at Cas over the rim of his glass before taking a sip.

Cas gulped before saying, “I'm glad to see you’re back to your normal self.”

“Thanks to you.” Dean said sincerely, putting his not-empty glass down.

Cas stared at the glass and fought the urge to smile, he wouldn't allow himself to smile at his own imagination making him think that Dean was choosing Cas over the damn drink.

They were both so protective of each other, but even more damn protective of their own feelings. Neither wanted to go first, to show their souls to each other in such a way, that could be used against each other. So, instead of doing it for themselves, Dean did the only thing that could help them, “Sammy!”

Cas shot up and looked at Dean, confused.

“If neither of us are gonna do it, might as well get someone who will.” Dean said with a shrug, as Sam came quickly running in.

“What’s going on?” Sam asked quickly, with a knife in hand, ready to attack.

“Put the knife down, Rambo. We need your help.” Dean replied.

“Oh.” Sam said in realisation, as he slowly lowered the knife.

“Great.” Dean said, before throwing the remaining whiskey he had in his glass, down his throat.

“Firstly, put the whiskey away.” Sam said, taking control.

“What?” Dean asked, looking horrified.

“Put it away, or I’ll convince Cas to find someone better.” Sam replied, earning glaring looks from both men.

Dean sighed, screwing the cap back on the bottle of the whiskey and pushing the glass and bottle away from him. “Better?” He asked.

Sam nodded and saw Cas’ lips twitch, “You can smile, y’know?”

Cas looked up to Sam and his eyes already told Sam what he wanted to hear, _thank you_.

“Right. Dean, what do you remember about earlier?” Sam asked, now looking towards Dean as he sat down.

“All of it, pretty much.” Dean replied dully, as he stared at the small speck of blood left on his clenched fist.

“Even the part when Cas told you he loved you?” Sam asked.

“Yeah,” Dean said, as his lips twitched upwards.

Cas smiled faintly at Dean’s reaction, he loved his smile, even the smile Dean used when he didn't know he was smiling.

“And the part where you told Cas you loved him too?” Sam asked, sitting back in his chair, knowing his work was already nearly done.

“Yeah.” Dean breathed out, his eyes flicking up to Cas’ as they stared at each other intensely.

Neither could pull away from the stare; their eyes were locked onto each other. Eventually, Sam was getting rather uncomfortable with the _tension_ in the room, so he coughed – interrupting the silence and stares.

“Right. So, did you both mean what you said?” Sam asked, trying to end the conversation as quickly as it started.

Dean nodded and watched Cas as he also nodded, “Well, stop acting like kids and talk then.” Sam said, before standing up and walking away.

Cas looked up to Dean’s face and tilted his head, squinting his eyes. “You’re nervous.” He stated.

Dean quickly shot up and looked towards Cas, “No, I'm not.” Her replied quickly, pouting his lips.

“You really do act like a child.” Cas stated, as he titled his head again.

“Yeah, well, you love me.” Dean threw back, with a smirk.

“And you love me.” Cas replied, as his lips twitched upwards.

Dean chuckled and reached towards the whiskey bottle, “Yeah, so?”

It was Cas' turn to smile now, as reached forward and stopped Dean from taking the bottle by placing his hand on his. As Dean came into contact with Cas, he felt nerves erupt throughout his body and his breathing hitched, as he felt his stomach fill with a feeling he’s never felt before.

They looked up to into each other’s eyes, and both smiled – knowing they both felt the same thing. And that, that was the last straw for Dean. He quickly stood up and with one step, he was already standing over Cas. He reached down and softly placed his lips onto Cas’, and the shock in Cas was soon replaced by lust and love as he kissed Dean back, and opened his mouth granting Dean’s tongue access. Cas slowly stood up, not breaking the kiss, and placed a hand on Dean’s back to pull him even closer, as Dean placed his hands on the back of Cas’ neck and one on Cas’ chin.

Eventually, Dean had to break the kiss and gain control of his breathing again. They both laughed nervously once they had caught their breaths back, but quickly went back to their intense make out session. Soon, they were pulling and tugging at the clothes that separated them. Once Cas’ coat and suit jacket, along with Dean’s red shirt and grey shirt, were lying on the ground; they decided to take it to the bedroom. But once, they reached Dean’s bedroom door, Dean broke the kiss and looked at Cas, “Are you sure?”

Cas smiled slightly and replied, “Yes, I'm sure.”

“Good.” Dean replied, before smashing his lips back onto Cas’ and opened his door.

 

Sam tried to drown out the _noises_ coming from Dean’s room, he was glad that they finally decided to do something about their feelings, he was just really pissed off they had to do it so damn loudly. He hadn't heard Dean like that before, well, sure he’s heard Dean and _other_ partners before, but he’s never heard him laugh and moan so loudly before. He curled into a ball under his quilt and covered his ears, as if he was a child. He felt even weirder once he remembered it was Cas, too. _Cas_. The man that gripped them both tight and raised them from perdition, the man that had died for them, the man that killed for them. Castiel, The Angel of the Lord, had decided to love and trust Dean more than his own father.

In that moment of thought, Sam realised that Cas had always done whatever he could to save Dean, he’d always loved Dean. Okay, so maybe raising him from hell was an order, but all the things after that weren't. Rebelling against his home for Dean, wasn't an order. Killing angels for Dean, wasn't an order. Falling in love with Dean, wasn't an order. In that moment of thought, Sam knew that Castiel and Dean were somewhat destined.

* * *

In the morning, Sam woke up to the sound of shouting. Without thinking, Sam picked up his knife and ran out of his room. Once he entered the room where the shouting came from, he immediately froze. It wasn't shouting coming from Dean or Cas, it was shouting coming from the TV in Dean’s room.

“Dude, what the hell?” Dean asked shocked, as he laid on the bed with Cas on his side.

“I thought – I thought I heard shouting?” Sam stammered, as he lowered his knife.

Dean gestured towards the TV in his room and Sam saw The Game of Throne’s title rise on the screen. Dean’s eyes were still widened with shock as he watched his brothers face soften and cheeks turn to a shade of pink. “Oh, I'm, uh, sorry. Uh, yeah.” Sam stammered embarrassingly.

Dean nodded and chuckled at his embarrassed brother.

But before Sam walked completely out of the room, he turned back around and fully noticed Cas, “Uh, hey, Cas.”

Cas turned his head away from the TV and also fully acknowledged Sam, “Hello, Sam.”

“Sam, just get out.” Dean said finally, breaking the awkwardness.

“Yeah.” Sam said, before rushing out of the room.

Once Sam had left the room and closed the door, he leant against the wall and let out a long and deep breath. He wasn't embarrassed because he thought he heard shouting, that happens quite frequently, he was embarrassed because the only thing he was reminded of were the noises he heard during the night. Sam rubbed his face with his hands, before finally pushing himself off the wall and started to walk down to the kitchen. He needed coffee, a lot of coffee.

 

It wasn't for at least another hour that Cas and Dean sleepily made their way down to the main room. Once Sam noticed their arrival, he smiled at them and went straight back into the book he was reading. “What’cha reading?” Dean asked, as he sat opposite Sam.

“Uh, just some stupid book about demons.” Sam replied, not looking up from his book.

Dean nodded and looked around, “Do you think there’s any about the mark?”

Sam and Cas instantly looked at Dean in confusion, “Uh, no. We've already looked, remember?” Sam said softly, dropping the book.

Dean gulped before forcing out a laugh, “Oh yeah.”

Neither Cas or Sam replied, they just stared at Dean. A feeling was then planted in both of the men's stomachs. A feeling that told them that something was wrong. They knew it was Dean, well it definitely looked and sounded like Dean.

“Right, I’m gonna get some coffee.” Dean said quickly, avoiding both the men’s gaze. “You want some, Cas?” He added, as he stood up.

Dean’s eyes widened in embarrassment once he realised what he said, “Idiot.” He muttered under his breath, before quickly walking away.

“Uh, what the hell just happened?” Sam asked, ripping his eyes away from the doorway Dean just walked through.

“I’m not sure.” Cas replied, looking back to Sam.

“Has he been weird all morning?” Sam asked.

“I don’t think so.” He replied.

“You feel like something’s wrong too, right?” Sam asked, looking knowingly towards Castiel.

Cas didn't reply, just gave a look to Sam proving to Sam that Cas agreed.

“Do you think it has something to do with last night?” Sam finally asked.

“I don’t think so. If he was turning again, then he wouldn't forget certain things. Or, if he was possessed then he wouldn't remember anything that has a matter of importance to us.” Cas replied, looking deep in thought.

“It might just be Dean? He might just be having an off day?” Sam said, relaxing a bit.

“I suppose. But does that seem like the reasonable explanation?” Cas said, raising his eyebrows.

Sam sighed and rubbed his eyes, “Of course not. We wouldn't be that lucky enough.”

“We never are.” Cas murmured.

“Well, _you_ got lucky last night.” Sam said, smiling.

Cas looked blankly at Sam before he understood what he meant, and cracked into a smile.

But at that moment, Dean came walking back into the room with a cup of coffee. Something about him seemed different, neither of the men could pinpoint what it was – but it was definitely something.

“What?” He asked, noticing both the men stare at him.

“Nothing.” Sam said, as they both tore their eyes away from him.

Dean shrugged, and walked back over to the table. He stopped before he sat down, he looked at the other seats surrounding the table and squinted his eyes in concentration. He looked as if he didn't know what chair to sit at, or what chair he _was_ sitting at. He looked at where Cas was sitting, and then the chair on the left of him which was also opposite Sam. _Yeah, that looks like the seat I’d sit at_ , Dean thought to himself.

Sam and Cas stared at him in confusion as they watched him stare at the seats, before he eventually sat down in the chair he was previously sitting at. They looked alarmingly at each other for a couple of seconds, before going back to watch Dean.

“What’cha reading?” Dean asked Sam, as he looked down to the closed book before Sam.

Sam looked down to the book, and then slowly back up to Dean, not knowing what to say.

“What?” Sam asked.

Dean sighed and rolled his eyes, he leant forward and spun the book around to face him, “Oh, demon crap.” He smiled.

Sam stared at his brother, completely bewildered. _What the hell?_ He thought.

“Do you think there’s any about the mark?” Dean asked, looking around to the shelves of books.

Cas slowly straightened his back and stared at Dean, he had no idea what was going on, and he was an angel, he was supposed to know. His breathing sped up, and he could feel his brain racing as he thought.

“What?” Sam asked, raising his voice.

Dean quickly looked back to his brother, “Do you think there are any books about the mark?” He asked again, narrowing his eyes in confusion.

“No, Dean.” Cas replied, “We've already checked.”

Dean sighed and leant back into his chair, before his eyes rested upon the cup of coffee. He smiled and grabbed the cup, before taking a long sip. He smiled in content as he put the cup back down onto the table, “Thanks for the coffee, Sammy. Really needed it.”

“I didn't make it?” Sam said worriedly.

“Oh,” Dean said, as he narrowed his eyebrows, “Thanks, Cas.”

Cas didn't reply, he was too entranced with thinking what was wrong with Dean, because now it was pretty damn obvious something was wrong.

Dean then slowly leant in towards Sam, causing Sam and Cas to do the same, Dean then whispered, “Do you know if she’s left?”

Sam and Cas exchanged looks before Sam asked, “Who, Dean?”

“The woman? I can’t remember her name.” He replied with a smile.

“What woman?” Cas asked.

“Do I really need to spell it out for you? I spent the night with someone, and she’s not in my room, so has she left?” He asked quietly.

Cas’ breathing hitched, and he slowly leant back. He could feel his chest and throat tighten, as well as tears burning the back of his eyes.

Sam stared at his older brother in disbelief, “What did the woman look like?” He asked, as his eyes flicked towards Cas. He saw the tears in Cas’ eyes, as he looked at Sam back.

“Uh, good looking, dark hair, really blue eyes, sort of smelt like cinnamon…that’s all I can remember – I must have been pretty wasted,” Dean said with a smile, as he leant back.

“So, basically a woman version of Cas?” Sam said, gesturing his head to Cas.

Dean chuckled and took another sip of his coffee, “Yeah, you could say that.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about it being so late, had too many exams! I'll try and come up with a routine so I can finish this quickly. Enjoy.

“Cas, what the hell is going on?” Sam asked quietly, as he dragged Cas into the corridor.

“I’m not sure.” Cas said, his voice sounded raw and pained.

“I’m sorry, Cas.” Sam said, putting a hand on Cas’ shoulder.

“I’m fine.” Cas said, trying to force a smile.

“Of course you are,” Sam said with a smile, giving a reassuring squeeze on his shoulder.

Before Cas or Sam could say anything else, they heard a laugh come from the main room. Sam dropped his hand off Cas’ shoulder and they both slowly walked over to the doorway to look at Dean. There he was, stirring his coffee with his finger as he read the newspaper that was left on the table.

“Hey, Dean.” Sam said, as if he was talking to a child, as they both walked back into the room.

“Oh, hey, guys. I think we have a case?” He said, looking up to the men as they both sat opposite him.

“Yeah?” Sam asked, looking towards Cas.

“Yeah, I think it’s a vampire nest.” He said, looking back down to the newspaper.

“Where?” Sam asked, already dreading the answer.

“Lawrence.” Dean muttered.

Sam slammed his hand down on the table, a bit too loudly.

“What’s up, Sammy?” Dean asked, concern written all over his face.

“What’s the date on the newspaper?” Sam asked, ignoring Dean’s question.

“Uh, Third of November.” Dean replied.

“Yeah, well it’s the Fifth of November.” Sam said, looking closely at Dean’s face.

“Oh, other hunters must of took care of it then.” Dean said with a chuckle.

“Yeah, we did!” Sam said raising his voice, losing control of the whole situation.

Dean looked at his brother blankly before clearing his throat, “Oh.”

“ _Oh_? Oh. Is that all you have to say?” Sam asked, getting more concerned but also angry.

“If you say we took care of it, then I believe you.” Dean said, folding the newspaper and putting it down on the table.

“But you can’t remember doing it?” Asked Cas.

“Nope.” Dean shrugged.

“Why isn't this freaking you out? Dean, you can’t even remember who you slept with last night.” Sam stated, as his eyes quickly moved over Cas.

Dean’s eyes followed Sam’s as they hit Cas. There was no reaction on Dean’s face as he realised what Sam was telling him. Cas’ eyes searched Dean’s face for any realisation or shock, but nothing happened, Dean still just held a blank expression.

“Dean, what the hell is going on with you?” Sam asked.

Dean clenched his jaw and looked down to the floor, hiding his face. He clenched his eyes shut and could feel his stomach closing in on him.

“Dean?” Sam asked concern spilling out all over his speech.

Dean didn't reply, instead he clenched his shut eyes tighter.

Cas slowly out stretched his arm and softly placed his hand on Dean’s shoulder reassuringly, letting him know that they were still there, still willing to help.

After a while, a little growl came from the back of Dean’s neck and Cas immediately whipped his hand away in shock. Sam stood up, and without thinking, automatically backed away.

“Cas?” Sam asked, worried.

“Don’t worry, he’s fine.” Cas said quietly, trying to calm Sam’s nerves – and even his own.

But as soon as Cas’ heartbeat started to slow back down, Dean growled again, but louder this time. The volume of the growl, made Cas automatically stand up. He looked over to Sam and saw Sam’s face full of worry and realised he must have looked the same.

“Dean?” Cas asked, looking back down to Dean, who now had his head in his hands.

Dean still didn't reply.

“Sam, get him a glass of water.” Cas ordered, not taking his eyes off Dean.

Sam quickly nodded, before scurrying to the kitchen.

“Dean, can you hear me?” Cas asked the shaking man.

It was the soft, concerned voice of Cas’ that caused Dean to _wake up_. He slowly opened his eyes and looked down to his hands that were covering his eyes. He finally looked up and realised he was in the main room, sitting down.

“Cas?” He asked confused, as he looked around the bunker and saw Cas standing near him.

Cas let out a breath, and he felt his expression soften.

“What’s going on?” Dean asked.

“We were hoping you’d know.” Sam said, as he walked back into the room.

“What?” Dean asked, as he looked towards his brother as he placed a glass of water in front of him.

“What’s the last thing you remember, Dean?” Cas asked, sitting back down in the chair opposite Dean and next to Sam.

Dean’s face screwed up in concentration, before it turned a slight pinkish colour. He looked towards the 2 men sitting in front of him, and awkwardly cleared his throat. Sam took that into consideration and smiled, knowing exactly what the last thing Dean remembered was. _Having sex with Cas_. But of course, Cas being the innocent, little angel he was, he didn't know at all.

“What is it?” Cas asked, looking back and forth between the now awkward looking brothers.

“You know…” Dean said, gesturing to the coat still on the floor near the doorway.

“Oh.” Cas said quietly, as his cheeks also flushed a shade of pink.

Sam laughed before going back to the subject in question, “Is that the last thing you remember?”

“Uh, yeah. I remember us _finishing_ and then us falling asleep. And then I'm being woken up by Cas just staring at me, whilst I sleep in this damn chair.” He said, confused.

Cas and Sam exchanged worried glances, before looking back over to Dean.

“Okay, spit it out.” Dean sighed.

“Cas said you were acting normal this morning when you both woke up, but when you came in here, you were acting _off_. You asked what I was reading and if there were any books on the mark, and then you asked Cas if he wanted coffee.” Sam began.

“That doesn't seem too off?” Dean asked, tilting his head a little to the side.

“Yeah, but it started to ring alarm bells. But then, when you came back in with your coffee, you asked what I was reading again, and then if there were any books on the mark. And then you thanked me and Cas for the coffee, that _you_ made. But, then you asked if the woman had left.” He said, speaking more quietly towards the end.

“What woman?” Dean asked, narrowing his eyebrows.

“You said that you’d slept with someone, but you couldn't remember who _she_ was or what her name was. But then you described her as a woman version of Cas.” Sam paused, giving Dean time for it to set in.

Dean’s eyes widened in guilt, as he looked over to Cas’ pained expression on his face. He reached over and softly wrapped his hand around Cas’, causing Cas to look over to Dean and smile.

“I wouldn't forget you, Cas.” Dean said softly, tightening his grip around Cas’ hand.

Cas’ breathing hitched and he smiled wider at Dean.

“Anything else?” Dean asked Sam, not taking his eyes off Cas.

“Yeah, actually.” Sam said with a sigh.

Dean dropped his head, and sighed. He eventually nodded and let go of Cas’ hand, before lifting his head up to look at Sam.

“Me and Cas were talking, and then you told us that you thought you’d found a case. But it was the case from Lawrence, and you couldn't remember us going and then you thought it was November the Third. I eventually told you that we went to the case, and that you couldn't remember the last 2 days, but you didn't care. _You just didn't care_. And then I told you that you’d slept with Cas, but you didn't care again – you just looked bored.

And then came that weird seizure thing, you were just sitting there, shaking and covering your face. And, well, growling.” Sam replied.

Dean stared at his brother, with his eyebrows narrowed. He looked more confused then he’d ever been.

“So, what was it?” He asked eventually.

“We don’t know.” Cas replied.

Dean nodded slowly and rubbed his stubbly chin and cheeks.

Not taking his eyes off Sam and as he continued to rub his own face, Dean said mechanically, “So, that’s what I did wrong then.” Before tilting his head, smiling, blinking and then showing Sam and Cas, the once again blackest of black eyes. ****

* * *

 

Cas and Sam both quickly stood up in shock, and neither knew what to do. So, instead of running or fighting like they normally do when they come into contact with a demon, Castiel asked, dreading the reply, “How long?”

With his deep accent dripping through, and a wicked grin, Dean replied, “I never changed back.”

The reply made Cas feel sick to the stomach. Castiel had slept with a demon. An angel had slept with a demon. That was something new, especially for Cas. Fair enough, there was Meg and they had several _encounters_ , but they had never actually slept together.

Dean then stood up and stretched his back, “I only wanted to creep you both out. Make it look like I was losing my mind. I guess it worked too well.” Dean said, chuckling.

Neither Sam nor Cas replied, they didn't know what to say. Nothing was making any sense to them. Eventually, Dean got bored of their dumbfounded expressions and rolled his eyes, “If no one says anything, I’ll just kill you both now and skip the fun.” He raised his hand and pulled the angel blade from the back of his trousers.

That was enough to finally bring Cas and Sam back to reality, “Cas, move.” Sam urged, as he nudged Cas’ hip. Cas quickly looked towards Sam before rushing out of the room, Sam following closely behind, and down the corridors.

As they ran quietly through the building, Sam whispered, “Don’t use any of your angel power crap. Not yet.”

Cas stopped running and turned to face Sam, “I wasn't planning to.”

“Okay, good.” Sam said quietly, with a weak smile.

They leant against the wall for a moment, catching their breaths. They were running away from Dean like a couple of mice running away from a cat.

“Sammy, Cas.” Dean shouted, in a sing-song voice. They could both tell Dean was close, and honestly, it scared the shit out of them.

They weren't scared of Dean and being killed by him, they were just scared of what they would do in retaliation to Dean.

“Cas, we need to go to the power room. Lock the place down.” Sam whispered.

Cas nodded and they quietly stared to run again. They could hear Dean not too far away, kicking every door open as he passed. They could feel the tension rise up in their throats and stomachs, okay, so maybe they were a little bit scared of Dean. Well, he was chasing them around the bunker with a blade that could kill both of them! You’d have to be stupid and crazy not to be scared.

Once Cas and Sam reached the power room, they quietly closed the door and reached for the salt that was hidden behind a control box. Sam carefully placed a line of salt just behind the door and stuffed the bottle into his pocket, just in case.

“Right, we’re gonna have to lock ourselves in. You okay with that?” Sam asked.

Cas nodded and watched how extremely well Sam was taking the whole situation, how he moved in graceful movements to pull down the lever that put the whole bunker on lock-down and how calm his breaths were.

“How are you okay?” Cas asked finally.

Sam chuckled humourlessly and replied, “Trust me, I'm not. But honestly, I've been expecting this for a while. Just one stupid mistake and I knew Dean was gonna turn into some killing psychopath.”

Cas nodded instead of replying. Even if Sam had been expecting this, Castiel definitely hadn't.

“You ready?” Sam asked, as he put his hand on the handle of the door, getting ready to open it.

“I thought we were going to lock ourselves in?” Cas asked.

“Yeah, in the bunker. Not in this room. I thought we’d go down into the dungeon and stand in the devil’s trap.” Sam replied.

Cas nodded and took a deep breath, getting ready to run again. But once Sam opened the door, there was no point in running. Dean was standing there, staring straight at them both.

“Good idea, putting this place on lock-down.” Dean said, pointing up to the lights that were now red instead of their usual colour. “Always loved Drama class, didn't you, Sammy?” He added, smiling.

Sam gulped, this was one of the things he wasn't expecting.

Luckily, the door was a couple of inches off the floor, so it didn't damage the salt line.

“Dean, this isn't you.” Sam began, before being rudely interrupted by Dean rolling his eyes and sighing.

“Actually, it is. No demon possession crap, this is all just me.” Dean said, stretching his arms out, presenting himself.

“Why did you do this to yourself?” Cas asked, barely above a whisper.

“Hey!” Dean shouted, startling both men, “You can shut the hell up. How is this any different from what you two have done? Sammy, you became the devil’s meat-suit. And, Cas you swallowed the whole of purgatory. So, how is gaining a mark and becoming stronger then the King of Hell himself, any different?”

“Because we redeemed ourselves! Sam became himself once more to save you and the world. I, I may have unleashed the leviathans, but I also helped you stop them. So, once you become yourself again and help others around you once more, then we’ll begin to see it as the way you do.” Cas replied, no longer afraid of the man behind the salt line.

Sam looked shocked at both the men’s sudden outbursts, but he knew Dean couldn't hurt Cas and Cas couldn't hurt Dean as long as the salt line stayed intact.

“Oh, yeah. Sammy Winchester and The Angel Castiel, always ready to save the world.” Dean said mockingly, as he rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, and how many times have you helped save the world, Dean? You've always been there, taking the lead most of the time. You never backed down from a fight, you lost so much and now you’re willing to give it all up for a mark?” Cas asked, lowering his tone.

“Damn right I am.” Dean replied with a smile.

Cas felt defeated, he hated seeing Dean this way. He knew that the mark was going to be his undoing, he just didn't know it would have been so soon. He hoped that Dean, the real Dean, would drag himself out of it and apologise and they could all go back to living their lives the way it was – well, with maybe some improvements.

 But Cas was soon dragged out of his thoughts, as he was pushed backwards. He quickly regained focus and saw Dean getting ready to throw the angel blade towards Cas, but Sam had pushed him out of the way and was standing in front of him.

“Dean!” Sam shouted.

“What?” Dean asked slightly annoyed, lowering the blade.

“You could have killed him!” Sam shouted back.

Cas was too taken aback to say anything, he could hear his heartbeat beating so loud he thought it was going to burst right out of his chest right there and then. _No_ , he wasn't scared about dying, he’d done that plenty of times – he was just upset that it was Dean who had tried to kill him.

“Yeah, Sammy, that was the plan.” Dean said in a bitchy tone.

Sam huffed angrily and turned around to face Cas, “Cas get out of here.”

“What? No!” Cas said, raising his voice.

“Cas, he might try to kill you.” Sam said, softening his tone.

“Sam, I am not leaving you.” Cas said, finalising his point.

Sam sighed, and moved his eyes and titling his head. gesturing towards behind Dean, “Cas, get out of here.” He said, through clenched teeth.

Cas looked confused and squinted his eyes towards the younger brother, it took him a few more seconds until realisation hit him and Sam could practically see the penny drop in his head, “Okay. But, I’ll be back with help.” Cas lied, “Be careful, Sam.” He finished, as he put a hand on Sam’s shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly.

Of course Sam wasn't stupid enough to let Cas leave him on his own, he didn't stand a chance against Dean without him, even if the stupid salt line lasted.

Sam nodded at Cas, and soon enough the sound of wings were filling their eardrums and Castiel was gone.

“That was really stupid of you, Sammy.” Dean said, now leaning against the door frame.

“I’d rather you kill me, than him.” Sam said, raising his shoulders to make him look taller.

“So sweet. You should have been the one to bone him.” Dean replied, smiling.

That sentence made Sam feel sick to the core – not about him with Cas, he knew Cas was attractive and you know… But no, what made him feel sick was the fact that little over a week ago, Dean was telling him that he loved Cas, and it hurt him when he thought of Cas with anyone else or that he couldn't imagine Cas with anyone else other than him. He really did love Cas, but know he was telling him he didn't care who slept with him. “You don’t mean that.” Sam said, still shocked.

“Sure I do.” Dean shrugged.

“No, Dean, you don’t.” Sam replied, staring intensely at his brother.

Dean stared, challengingly, back at his younger brother.

“Come on, Sam. Don’t make me kill you.” Dean said, sighing.

“I'm not making you do anything, Dean.” Sam replied as he slowly shook his head.

Dean stared at his brother for a long time, contemplating what to do. But after a while, he lifted up the blade and said, “You’ll just try to save me.”

Sam nodded, tears burning the backs of his eyes as he kept them at bay. He wouldn't let them fall, not this time.

Dean took a breath, and raised the blade higher, getting ready to launch it into his brother’s chest before Sam quickly stopped him by shouting, “Wait!”

Dean looked at him with wide eyes, wondering what the hell he was doing. “What?” He asked, slightly pissed off.

“I just want to say something before you…kill me.” He said sadly.

Dean sighed as he lowered the blade completely, “Okay, what?”

“I'm sorry.” He said, looking towards his big brother, the man he’s always seen as someone more like a father to him, with big, wide eyes.

“For what?” Dean asked, slightly intrigued.

“For this.” Sam said, as Cas quickly jumped into action from hiding around the corner and grabbed Dean from behind.

Cas used all the strength he had to keep Dean locked in his arms. Dean squirmed and shouted, but he still wouldn't let go. It took even more strength for Cas to fly to the dungeon and into the devil’s trap, with Dean safely locked away in his arms. Once they were both safely in the devil’s trap, Cas sat Dean down on the chair and wrapped the chains around his chest and legs, keeping him locked down. Sam eventually arrived in the dungeon, slightly out of breath as Cas walked out of the devil’s trap.

“Are you okay, Sam?” Cas asked, knowing that Sam had just been nearly killed by his brother.

“Yeah, I'm fine.” Sam said with a nod, as they both ignored Dean’s shouts and growls.

Cas stared at Sam for a while, trying to figure out if he was lying, “Cas, I'm fine.” Sam said eventually.

Cas nodded slowly, still not knowing whether to believe him or not.

“Jesus, Sammy. Just jump on the horse already.” Dean said, sighing.

Sam shot around to Dean and stared at him intensely, not knowing what to say or do. But of course, Cas had no idea what Dean meant by that. “Sam, what is he trying to imply?”

“Nothing, Cas.” Sam said, still staring at his older brother.

“He should have swapped places with me last night, that’s what I'm saying, Cas.” Dean said, also staring at his brother.

“What?” Cas said, raising his voice angrily.

Dean then ripped his eyes away from Sam and looked towards Cas. “C’mon, Cas. Don’t tell me you don’t know it? How you stare at each other, always caring for each other and the rest is damn obvious.” Dean grumbled.

“Dean, that’s what you and Cas do, not us. You two stare at each other until someone has to pull you out of it, you two rely on each other way too much, you would both risk everything for each other, you always touch each other whenever you can. You love each other, Dean. And that’s why you’re so jealous, because even like this – you can’t imagine life without him.” Sam said, taking a step towards Dean.

Dean’s eyes flickered to Cas standing behind Sam, he couldn't let them win, not this time.

“Whatever you say, Sam.” Dean said, looking down to the floor.

Sam scoffed and walked over to the table, picking up the holy water. “Dean, admit you love him.”

Cas was shocked to see Sam act so rationally, “Sam, what are you doing?”

“He needs to find his way back to himself.” Sam muttered.

“Not like this, Sam.” Cas replied.

Sam looked at Cas, he just wanted his damn brother back. He nodded and slowly put the holy water back down.

“Come on, Sammy!” Dean urged, “Throw some water for your brother!”

“Dean.” Cas warned, knowing Dean was stepping on unstable territory.

“What? If it was any other demon, he’d have killed them by now. I made sure of that, didn't I, Sammy?” He said.

“I'm not killing you, Dean.” Sam said, lowering his head.

“You’re going soft, Sam.” Dean said, as his deep, accent slipped through.

“Dean, stop!” Cas said, raising his voice.

“You do it then, Cas! Go on, be an Angel of the Lord one more time.” Dean said, narrowing his eyes.

Cas turned around and let out a deep breath, he wouldn't let Dean see him so defeated.

“You scared, Cas? Scared that if I become the old, sad Dean again I won’t love you? Are you scared that I’ll break through the chains and kill both of you?” Dean said, as he pushed and pulled at the chains. “What about you, Sam? Are you scared that if you turn me back, I’ll hate you for it? For turning me back into the sad, tired, worthless man I was? Or, are you scared that I’ll turn your angel boyfriend into mush?”

And that was Sam’s last straw, as quick as a flash, he grabbed the holy water and quickly threw some at Dean, before Cas could stop him. They both watched as Dean’s skin burned and smoke rose into the air, as he hissed and swore.

“That’s it, Sam!” He shouted, as he stopped hissing and laughed triumphantly.

“Sam, it’s what he wants you to do, stop.” Cas said softly, putting a hand on Sam’s shoulder.

Sam stared at his brother, before finally nodding and handing Cas the bottle of holy water. As Cas put it back on the table, he noticed the empty syringe. “Sam, we need blood.”

“Huh?” He asked, as he turned around.

“We need the blood.” Cas said, showing him the syringe.

“Right. You go get some, I’ll wait here.” Sam said, with a nod.

“Are you sure?” Cas asked, he didn't want a rerun of what just happened, especially if he wasn't there.

“I’ll be fine.” Sam smiled faintly.

Cas nodded and was soon gone, leaving nothing but the sound of his wings.

“Isn't he cute?” Dean said with a smile, relaxing in his chair.

Sam scoffed and turned back around to face his brother.

“Just saying.” Dean said with a shrug.

“Okay, you wanna talk about Cas? Let’s talk about Cas.” Sam said, leaning against the table.

“What are we, a couple of girls in a playground?” Dean asked, chuckling once he finished.

Sam sighed and looked down to the floor. 

“Have you ever thought that this was your fault?” Dean asked suddenly.

“What?” Sam asked, looking up to his big brother, with wide eyes.

“You know, if you weren't born, do you still think all of this would have happened?” Dean asked, his green eyes slowly turning black.

Sam didn't know how to respond, he had always thought that Dean would have been the last one to say that to him, Dean was his big brother who always looked out for him, not someone who tore him up inside with more guilt.

He wanted Dean to shut up, not to remind him of things he already thought, things that were constantly eating away at him. “Shut up, Dean.” He said eventually.

“Just asking.” Dean said, raising his hands as high as he could, even though they were chained to the chair.

“Yeah, well, just stop talking.” Sam said, trying to force the lump in his throat down.

“Until your angel comes back, right?” Dean asked, tilting his head to the side.

“He’s not my angel.” Sam said sternly.

“Right.” Dean said, with a hint of sarcasm.

And then, as if on cue, the room was filled with the sound of Cas’ wings. He was standing just outside the devil’s trap, holding a brief case.

“You wanna get any closer, Cas?” Dean asked, with a wink.

Cas didn't show any facial expressions, before turning around to face Sam. “I've got enough for 8.”

Sam nodded, and pushed himself off the table, “Let’s get it started then.”

Cas walked towards Sam and put the brief case on the table, before opening it up and taking out the first blood bag. Once the blood was safely in the syringe, Sam turned around and saw a slight glimpse of fear on Dean’s face. “You know I'm gonna hate you for this, right?” Dean said.

“No you’re not.” Sam said.

“No, of course not. I’ll thank you for helping me become miserable, worthless and an empty piece of crap again. Of course I won’t be angry.” Dean said, rolling his eyes.

Sam froze and thought for a while. “Sam, he’ll be glad.” Cas said once he saw Sam freeze.

Sam quickly snapped out of it and nodded. He walked towards his brother and then forcefully pulled Dean’s head towards him, “I wouldn't, Sam.” His brother warned, before Sam plunged the syringe into the exposed skin of his neck.

Dean growled in pain, and threw his head back as Sam emptied the blood into Dean.

“Is that normal?” Cas asked, taking a step forward.

“Yeah, I think so?” Sam replied, not taking his eyes off Dean as he took out the syringe.

“I don’t think it is.” Dean grunted, still trying to fight the pain away.

“What?” Sam asked, suddenly.

Dean threw his head back again, and groaned loudly. “Does this sound okay to you?”

“You’re lying.” Sam replied.

“Whatever you say.” He replied weakly, dropping his head.

“Well, you've got an hour to get your strength back.” Sam muttered, before leaning against the wall and sliding down to the floor.

Cas watched Sam’s actions from the other side of the room and decided to do the same. They had been on their feet for way too long. As Dean sat in the middle of them, he didn't know what to do – it was easier when they were both in front of him, he could take the piss easier that way.

“You both tired or something?” Dean asked.

“Well, yeah.” Sam said, he wasn't in the mood for any more of Dean’s shit.

Dean rolled his eyes, “Amateurs.”

Sam sighed and rubbed his face with his hands, he couldn't think of anything else other than the day before and how normal it was – well, before he kicked the shit out of that fence. _Wait, the fence?_

“Dean, yesterday, what happened with the fence?” Sam asked quickly.

“What?” Dean asked, confused.

“Why did you go mad and break the fence?” Sam asked, standing up.

“I don’t know.” Dean said, clenching his jaw.

Cas noticed this action and also stood up, walking over to the front of Dean where Sam now was too.

“Yes, you do. Why did you do it?” Sam eagerly asked.

“Because.” He said.

“Because what?” Cas asked.

Dean looked over to Cas and stared for a bit too long, a bit too suspiciously for Sam.

“It was because of what he said, wasn't it? About me having feelings for him.” Sam said, looking between Cas and Dean.

“No.” Dean said, a bit too quickly.

“It was.” Sam took a step back.

“It was because of me?” Cas said sadly, looking to Sam.

“No, it wasn't because of that! It was what he said after!” Dean shouted, losing his control with the situation.

“What did I say?” Cas said, looking back to Dean as he shook his head slowly.

Dean didn't reply, instead he closed his eyes and raised his head. He was not letting them win.

“Dean.” Cas warned.

Still no reply.

“Dean!” Cas shouted, jumping forward and slamming a hand down on the chair, next to Dean’s head.

 

Dean’s eyes flew open in surprise, before he was met with the eyes of the beautiful angel standing closely in front of him. As they looked at each other, neither said a word. Both forgot the reason why Cas was so close in the first place, and why Dean was chained to the chair. The only thing running through both of their minds, were how close they were and how they could hear each other’s breaths quicken. They were the only people in the room, the whole world – that was until, Cas looked down and saw the chains holding Dean in place. He quickly removed his hand from the chair and stood up straight, trying his hardest not to get lost in Dean’s beautiful, green eyes again. He cleared his throat and took a step back.

Dean was also trying to regain his focus on his situation and remember what was happening, remember who he was. Dean averted his eyes from Cas and closed his eyes once again. He was not letting them win.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter of the story, considering I didn't really have a plan for it, haha. Thank you to everyone who read it, it means so much.

After the sixth shot of blood, Dean progressively got weaker. His head was drooping and he was struggling to come up with any witty comebacks.

“I don’t think he’s faking it any more, Cas.” Sam whispered to Cas, as he dragged him into a corner of the room.

“Me neither.” Cas said, looking back over to Dean.

“We can’t stop it.” Sam said, as if Cas asked him if they could.

“I know.” Cas replied, not taking his eyes off Dean.

“What do we do?” Sam asked, as Cas look back over to Sam.

“I don’t know, but, Sam, we _cannot_ stop this.” Cas said. He normally would of gave up as soon as he saw how weak Dean was getting, but he was also seeing Dean become human again. They could not stop, not now, not when they were so close.

Sam agreed and they both walked back into the room and stood in front of Dean. “How you feeling, Dean?” Sam asked.

“Peachy.” Dean said, as he weakly looked up to the men and smiled, baring all his teeth.

“We’re sorry, Dean. We just want you back to normal.” Sam said sadly.

“I know, Sammy.” Dean muttered, dropping his head and closing his eyes.

He had stopped becoming so restless and angry around the fourth shot. They didn't think it would have been that quick, but they realised it was just because they knew how much strength he was wasting when he was getting angry.

Sam gulped at his reply, before turning to face Cas, who looked equally surprised. “It’s working.” He whispered.

Cas nodded and his lips twitched upwards.

* * *

 

“Okay, hours up.” Sam said, as he looked down to his watch.

Cas nodded and watched as Sam picked up the syringe with the seventh shot of blood in.

“You could be killing me, y’know?” Dean said weakly, as Sam softly pulled Dean’s head to the side, exposing his neck and 6 small puncture wounds.

“We’re not.” Sam said, barely above a whisper.

“How would you know?” Dean spat out quietly.

Sam sighed and slowly plunged the syringe into his neck, pushing all the blood into his brother.

Dean gasped and groaned loudly, louder than any of the last few. “Gah! I am gonna kill you!” He shouted, banging his fists into the arms of the chair.

Sam jumped back in shock, and watched as his brother battled the pain. Dean was groaning and shouting as the pain increased inside of him. Dean could feel his blood boiling, and as he looked down to the mark that was now revealed, he saw it was glowing red and burning him. “Stop, stop it!” He begged his brother, as he looked up from the mark.

Sam looked worriedly at his brother, before then also looking down to the mark. He couldn't see what Dean was seeing. “Cas?” Sam asked quietly.

“No, I can’t see anything either.” He whispered.

Dean shouted once more and tried to get out of the chains, but they were proving too strong for him.

Eventually, he calmed down and his breathing evened, but he could still feel it – he could still feel the mark battling it out with the new blood. It was weakening him faster, and everyone knew it. Dean was struggling to keep his head up, and his throat felt as if it was closing in on him. But, at that point Sam and Cas had took their eyes off Dean and looked at each other, “Do you think he’ll be okay?” Sam asked, turning to face Cas.

“Honestly, I'm not sure.” Cas said sadly, as he also turned to face Sam.

“He will be though, right? I mean, he has to, it’s Dean.” Sam said, keeping the tears at bay.

Cas nodded and then looked back at Dean.

“Dean?” Cas asked, turning his whole body to face him now.

Dean wasn't moving, and his chin was now touching his chest. Sam and Cas quickly ran over to Dean and Cas checked his pulse whilst Sam held his head up.

“Dean?” Sam cried, “Dean!”

Sam shook and slapped his face, until there was a gasp and Dean was quickly trying to sit up. He blinked and his eyes had once again, turned black. Sam nor Cas cared at this point, they quickly sighed in relief and Sam, awkwardly, hugged his brother.

“What the hell, man?” Dean asked, trying to push his younger brother away.

Sam sighed and stood back up, and watched as Dean blinked and his green eyes returned.

“We thought you –“ Sam began, before being interrupted.

“You died.” Cas interrupted.

“I what?” Dean asked loudly.

“You died.” Cas repeated.

“Told ya.” Dean said, barely above a whisper.

Sam and Cas walked out of the circle, and away from Dean. They both promised themselves, in their heads, that they would not take their eyes off Dean again, not until he was himself again – or maybe, not even after that.

“How long left?” Cas asked Sam, as he watched Dean.

Sam looked down to his watch, “43 minutes.”

Cas nodded and they both went silently back to watching Dean.

After a couple of minutes, Dean said, “You two are really creepy, y’know?”

“Why?” Sam asked.

“Because you’re both just staring at me. It’s giving me the creeps, man.” Dean said with a shiver.

Sam smiled at the normality of his brother.

“We don’t want you dying again.” Sam replied finally.

“I’ll just come back again. Like doing that, apparently.” He said, breathing out of his nose.

Sam sniggered and smiled at his brother, “What you smiling at?” Dean asked, with a hint of a smile of his own.

“Nothing.” Sam replied, trying to force the smile away.

Dean then looked down and narrowed his eyebrows, _why did I say that?_ He thought. “Stop being so damn soft.” He whispered to himself.

Though, he whispered it, Cas and Sam still heard it. They knew now that with only 39 minutes to go, it was definitely going to work – they were going to get Dean back.

* * *

 

“Always were the patient ones, weren't ya?” Dean asked the two men, after a while.

“And you were never the one for awkward silences.” Cas replied.

“I never said anything about it being awkward. D’ya hear that Sammy? Cas think’s it’s awkward.” Dean said, looking up to Sam with a childish look on his face.

Sam rolled his eyes and looked down to his watch, “2 minutes.” He said with a sigh.

Cas nodded and took his suit jacket off, and smiled at the thought of his coat still laying on the floor in the doorway of the main room.

“What ya doing? Sam, what’s he doing?” Dean asked, looking over to Cas and then back to Sam.

“We need to be prepared for when you turn back.” Sam muttered.

 Cas rolled up his sleeves and stood nearer to the devil’s trap. Sam and Cas nodded at each other and Sam walked over to the table, picking the syringe up for the last time. Dean squirmed in his seat uncomfortably, before sighing. He closed his eyes and tilted his head to the side, showing Sam his neck. But before Sam could inject the syringe, Dean ripped his hand away from under the chains and slapped his own neck.

“Go on, Sam. I dare ya.” He said, looking up to Sam with cold, dead eyes.

Cas quickly yanked Dean’s hand away and watched as Sam slammed the syringe into Dean’s neck. Dean gasped and his head dropped but there were no more noises – no growling, no groaning, nothing. 

After Sam said what needed to be said, the two men took a few steps back and faced Dean.

After a while, Dean looked up with black eyes, but there was something different. The blackness started to fade, as if it was being wiped away and then they were green. His face didn't look as cold and hard now, it looked scared, defeated and guilty. Dean quickly looked between the men standing before him, before he let out a quick breath.

Dean went to talk, but before the words left his mouth, water was thrown into his face. He slowly opened his eyes again, before blowing the water off his lips. He used his free hand to wipe the dripping water off. “Thanks, Sammy.” He said sarcastically, still wiping his face.

“Yeah, no problem.” Sam said, still staring at his brother.

Dean wiped his wet hand on the part of his shirt that wasn't covered in chains, before easily ripping the chains off. Once he had freed his legs, he stood up and looked at Sam and Cas, who were staring at him with shocked expressions, “What?” He asked.

“How did you get out of that?” Sam stammered.

“Oh, you need to work on tying people up, Cas. I could have easily got out of them before, if I really wanted to.” He shrugged.

Cas nodded once, still in shock.

Dean uncomfortably shifted his weight onto each foot, as he watched the men continuously stare at him. “I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I didn't want any of this to happen, I should have kept control. I shouldn't have carried on driving to the nest, I'm sorry.” Dean spat out eventually. He really did hate awkward silences.

But still, neither of the men answered him. They just blinked every so often as they stared.

“Someone say something?” Dean asked quietly.

Still no reply.

But, after a minute, Sam took one step towards his brother and pulled him into a hug. He gripped him tight and dug his head into the crook of his older brother’s neck. It took Dean by surprise, obviously, but he quickly hugged back and gripped his brother even tighter. The hug lasted a bit longer than a usual hug should have, but Sam was just so damn glad to have his brother back. Even though it had only been a day, it felt like a damn year. When they eventually let go of each other, Sam took a step back and subtly wiped his tears. Dean looked towards Cas and noticed he was blinking more frequently now.

“Hiya, Cas.” Dean said with a faint smile.

But before Cas said anything, he took a small step forward and punched Dean square in the face. Sam heard Dean’s lip split and cringed, before shouting, “Cas!”

“What the hell, Cas?” Dean asked, raising his voice when he got his vision back.

But once again, before Cas said anything, he took a step forward and instead of punching him again, he slammed his lips onto Dean’s. Sam decided not to object with this one.

* * *

 

“So, you remember it all?” Sam asked.

“Yup.” Dean said, taking a long sip of his beer.

Once the kiss started to move into something else, Sam decided that maybe it was time to put a stop to it. And a few minutes after a couple of embarrassed apologies from Cas and a _secret_ high five from Dean (Cas pretended he didn't see it), they decided that maybe they should go somewhere more comfortable to talk. Once they were in the main room, sitting at the table, Dean insisted on beer – and a lot of it.

“All of it?” Cas asked, slightly embarrassed.

“Yup.” He said, smiling into his bottle, as he took another sip.

Cas looked down to his hands and hid his smile.

“What did it feel like?” Sam asked, leaning forwards, "being a demon." 

Dean put his bottle down and stared at a mark on the table, “Like I could do and have anything in the whole world.”

“Did it feel…good?” Sam asked nervously, Cas leant forwards Dean now too.

_Better than how I'm feeling now? Definitely,_ he thought.

“You could say that.” Dean replied mechanically, as he stared at the mark on the table.

That was the answer Sam really didn't want to hear, “Oh.” He muttered.

“I mean, I'm glad to be back – you know, have a soul and all? There are just some things I’d rather not feel.” Dean said quickly, shrugging towards the end.

Sam and Cas both nodded, understandingly.

Dean picked up his bottle and drank the remaining of it. Once he put it down, he pushed it away from him and asked Sam to pass him another.

“What? You only had like 4 sips?” Sam asked, shocked.

Dean laughed and waited as Sam picked up his empty bottle and shook it, just to see if it actually was empty. He eventually got round to passing Dean a new bottle.

Dean smirked, before looking at all the books around the room, “Do you think there’s any on the mark?”

Sam and Cas quickly jumped up and backed away, “Kidding, guys, kidding!” Dean laughed.

Sam and Cas looked at each other not knowing whether to believe him or not, before looking back at Dean.

“I'm joking, okay, guys. Look,” he laughed, as he reached over and picked up the bottle of holy water from where Sam was sitting, and poured a little and sprayed it over his face, “See? No demon. Just me.”

It took a few seconds, but they eventually sat back down. Cas next to Dean, and Dean opposite Sam.

“That wasn't funny.” Sam huffed, as he sat down.

“It kinda was.” Dean said, still laughing.

Sam rolled his eyes at his brother’s stupid jokes and opened his own beer. He caught Cas’ eye and gestured towards a beer, “You want one?” He asked.

Dean turned to the angel and smiled, “Yeah, okay.” Cas said finally, not knowing Dean was looking at him.

“Thank you.” Cas said, as Sam opened and handed him a bottle.

Cas then felt Dean staring at him, he looked at Dean and saw he was correct. “What?” He asked.

Dean’s smile grew wider before he turned away and looked down to his untouched bottle of beer, “Nothing.” He said, trying to force his smile away.

Cas looked towards Sam and saw he was also smiling, but at Dean.

“What’s going on?” Cas asked Sam.

Sam looked at Cas and smiled wider, he nodded towards Dean and then at Cas again. Cas shook his head in confusion before Sam sighed and said, “Dean, help the poor bastard out.”

Dean chuckled before standing up, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Where are you going?” Sam asked, concerned.

“Dude’s gotta pee, Sam.” Dean said smiling, before walking out of the room.

Cas turned back around to Sam and asked again, “What’s going on?”

“I can’t say it for him.” Sam shouted, just to make sure Dean could hear him.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Dean shouted back.

Sam chuckled and took a gulp of his beer, looking at Cas over the rim of the bottle. Sam put the bottle down and sighed, “He loves you, Cas. And you make him smile.”

That wasn't what Cas was expecting, he took a long sip of his beer before saying, “Oh.”

Sam laughed at Cas’ awkwardness and said, “You love him too, right?”

“Yes, more than anything.” Cas replied instantly, holding back a smile.

“More than anything what?” Dean asked, as he walked back in.

Unfortunately, being the awkward idiots they are, they both said nothing and instead, took a sip of their beers.

“Dude, you told him?” Dean said knowingly to Sam, as he sat down.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Sam said, with a smile.

“You just wait ‘til we find Gabriel.” He said, pointing a finger warningly at Sam.

“What?” Cas asked suddenly.

“Nothing.” Sam replied instantly, as his cheeks reddened.

Dean chuckled and watched as Sam squirmed uncomfortably.

“Yeah, well, Cas, Dean used to have dreams about you.” Sam threw back.

“Hey!” Dean said, pointing at Sam again.

It was Sam’s turn to laugh this time.

“You used to dream about me?” Cas asked, turning in his seat to face Dean.

“No,” Dean muttered into his bottle before taking a sip.

“He’s lying, Cas.” Sam said, sitting back in his chair.

“Watch it.” Dean warned.

Cas chuckled softly.

“You think it’s funny, huh? Well, Sam jumped off a building ‘cause he thought he could fly.” Dean replied.

Cas laughed again, a bit harder this time.

“I was a kid!” Sam argued.

“Whatever, man. You thought batman could fly.” Dean chuckled.

Sam noticed Cas laughing and quickly racked through his brain, “Cas stood outside your door once and listened to you have sex!” He spat out.

Cas didn't laugh that time, instead, he just stared at Sam a little open-mouthed.

Dean slowly turned his head towards Cas and blinked rapidly, his mouth hanging a little open. He wanted to laugh, he wanted to laugh until he couldn't feel his ribs – so that’s exactly what he did. He rested his head on his folded arms on the table and laughed, laughed until he was begging for oxygen. “Dude, seriously?” He asked a very, red Cas once his breathing was back under control.

“Sam once wished he was still married to Becky.” Cas spat out quickly, pointing towards the younger Winchester.

“Dude, that’s low!” Dean said, still laughing, as he sat up and looked to Sam.

Sam was now nearly as red as Cas, “We need to stop.” He mumbled,

“Agreed.” Cas nodded.

“Aw, man.” Dean moaned.

“Dean, I want to be able to see you both again without thinking about things I don't want to think about.” Sam said.

Dean chuckled once more before finally agreeing, “Fine, but I love you two so fucking much right now.” Dean laughed again.

Unfortunately, the other two men were far too embarrassed to laugh.

“Alright, you get to say one more thing about me just to make it fair.” Dean said eventually, knowing it would make the men feel better.

“You go,” Cas said, nodding at Sam.

Sam thought for a while, he did want to embarrass his older brother, but then he did also want him to keep Cas, “D’ya know what? I can’t think of one.” He said, smiling faintly at his brother.

“Me neither.” Cas replied.

Dean knew what and why the men were doing it. He smiled faintly before saying, “You’re both a pair of girls.”

“Don’t make me regret it, Dean.” Sam said warningly.

Dean chuckled and winked at his younger brother, before turning to Castiel, “How long did you stand there?”

“We’re not having this conversation.” He said quietly, taking a big sip of his beer.

Dean then winked at Cas before saying, “Y’know I love you, right?”

As soon as he finished what he had said, he instantly regretted it. It was the first time _he_ had said it, since the night he turned. But also, because of how unpredictable it was, it made Cas cough and choke on his beer.

Once he had swallowed his beer properly, he turned to Dean with big, wide eyes and looked extremely shocked. Eventually, his expressions softened and he smiled, “I love you, too.”

At that moment, Dean didn't feel the regret or fear any more – he just felt happy.

“Go watch a film or something.” Sam muttered, as he smiled at the two men in front of him.

“Huh?” Dean asked, tearing his eyes away from Cas and to Sam’s.

“Go do some coupley stuff. Watch a film in bed, I don’t know.” Sam shrugged.

He watched the two men squirm as he used the term _coupley_ , “You are a couple, right?”

Dean and Cas awkwardly looked around the room, avoiding eye contact with each other and Sam, “You've not had the _talk_ yet.” Sam stated.

“No, Sam. I have just come back, y’know?” Dean mumbled.

“Well, you love each other, so why shouldn't you be together?” He asked, stating a fact.

Cas smiled faintly, as he looked down to the table, “See! He likes the idea.” Sam said, pointing towards Cas.

Dean smiled at Cas’ smiling face, before Cas realised what Sam had said and instantly shot up.

“Fine.” Dean said, standing up. He reached out a hand for Cas, and watched as Cas slowly took it, and stood up.

“What are we doing?” Cas asked slowly, looking up to Dean.

“To do coupley stuff.” He said, before softly pulling Cas’ hand and walking towards the doorway.

“And do what, Dean?” Sam shouted behind them happily.

“Watch a film.” Dean shouted back, as he held Cas’ hand and walked them to his room.

Sam laughed and drunk the last of his beer, before deciding to clean up and go to bed – it was nearly 2 o'clock in the morning after all.

* * *

 

Dean laid next to Cas on his bed, after he had put the film on.

“Dean, does this make us a couple?” Cas asked, taking Dean’s hand in his.

“If you want it to?” Dean asked, looking down to their bounded hands.

“Yes, I’d like that very much.” Cas said, smiling.

“Me too.” Dean said, now looking up to Cas’ smiling face.

Dean sat up and used his free hand to cup Cas’ face, they looked into each other’s beautiful, green and blue eyes before Dean slowly leaned in and brushed Cas’ lips with his own. Cas kissed back and smiled into the kiss, causing Dean to smile too.

Dean laughed and broke the kiss, “I love you.” He said, as he looked into Cas’, now dilated eyes.

“I love you, too.” Cas said, smiling.

They both laughed at each other, before turning back around to watch the film. Neither of them let go of the hands that were still joined together, but every so often of them would look back down and smile, knowing that after all this time, they were finally together – and neither would ever let that go.

They loved each other too much for either of them to let it go. They had always helped one another, even when they were fighting, they had always saved each other, risked their lives for each other, killed for each other and they had always loved each other – even when they didn't know it. And that is why, Castiel, The Angel of the Lord and Dean Winchester, The Hunter, were always destined.

 


End file.
